GRUMPY OLD MAN

Apart from 1% of the population, most fat people are that way for just one reason - They eat too much!

The following article is abridged from the Daily Mail:

WHY SHOULD THE NHS TREAT PEOPLE FOR BEING FAT?

Could you ever have imagined an age in which young mothers dying of breast cancer would literally have to fight to the death to be given the drug Herceptin, while obese women have access to stomach-stapling operations, anti-obesity pills, gastric bypasses and any other weight-loss 'cure' that takes their fancy, all on the NHS?

Yes, the same NHS that denied about half a million Alzheimer's sufferers the £2.50-a-day drug Aricept to delay the onset of dementia, yet spends millions to treat the symptoms of those whose only "illness" is overeating.

As figures published yesterday revealed, the number of patients being treated for being grossly overweight has gone up sevenfold in the past decade; in the past year alone, the number has increased by 30 per cent.

And those figures do not include the knee replacements most obese people need earlier and earlier in their lifetimes, nor the hip replacements, nor back problems and mobility issues that are a direct result of their excessive weight.

Indeed, the cost to the taxpayer of fat people's dietary choices is now a staggering £49million - and rising as fast as Dawn French's blood pressure.

And yes, I did use the word fat - now as politically incorrect and socially outlawed as 'golliwog'.

For more than a decade the liberal consensus has been that being fat was like having a brain tumour - you couldn't help it.

Fat people were victims and needed help. Well, I'm sorry, but apart from a few very rare cases, who deserve our every sympathy, most people are fat because of one simple truth. They eat too much and exercise too little.

It's got nothing to do with big bones or underactive thyroids, or low metabolisms or the newly discovered fat gene, and everything to do with porky pies - both telling them and eating them. For self-delusion is the fat person's best friend.

Let me freely confess that there have been times in my life when I have battled with my weight. For long periods, every dawn was a new diet. The only thing I have learnt is that fad diets don't work - the weight soon comes on again, and more on top.

Only sensible eating and regular exercise can help you shift excess pounds in the long term - and choosing not to do either of these, opting instead to become a couch potato and eat junk food, is a choice not an illness.

I laugh outright when I hear the oh-so liberal lament that the obesity crisis is due to the gap between the rich and the poor. The poor, we're told, eat junk food because it's all they can afford. The rich have the 'luxury' of a healthier diet.

Set aside, for one moment, the monstrously patronising premise contained within this theory, which implies poor people are too stupid to take care of themselves. Consider, instead, a simple truth: it is no coincidence that the poorest nations on Earth do not suffer from an obesity crisis - only the rich ones.

Funny, but when I was growing up, the poor families were the skinny ones. In post-war, food-scarce, ration-booked Britain, there were not a lot of fat people.

Growing up in the Sixties, our family was often short of money. But my mother cooked simple, cheap food for us every night, packed our lunches (sandwiches, a carrot and an apple... is that too hard?) and none of her three children ever had an ounce of fat on them.
imbed trees, played football. We ate healthily and lived healthily.

No, poverty doesn't produce obesity. It's caused by a different recipe altogether: a lack of self-discipline, a slovenliness about food preparation, an urge for instant gratification. To dress obesity up as a sickness is itself sickening - an insult to every person battling a genuine disease.

We now live in a society where 34 per cent of men and a staggering 39 per cent of women are at high risk of heart attack and stroke from being overweight. But until we can face the most elementary truths about what lies behind this trend, we haven't a hope of tackling the problem.

I have a friend who runs a weight-loss clinic at a London GP's surgery, and she tells me that at times, it's the most soul-destroying job. 'I have patients who come in and swear blind that they eat a healthy diet, and can't understand why they've been piling on the pounds,' she says.

'So I ask them to keep a "food diary" of what they have eaten over the course of a week, and you wouldn't believe some of the stuff they've got through... fizzy drinks, fried food, snacks throughout the day. And that's the honest ones; most of them just lie.

'I explain what they have to do to lose the weight - eat less, eat more healthily and take more exercise - till I'm blue in the face. But the trouble is, most of them have built up their weight over many years, yet want to lose it in a matter of weeks. So when they find that it takes time and effort to slim down, they claim the method doesn't work and demand to be put on some form of medication instead.'

Ah yes, the eternal promise of a miracle cure. Ask, and the NHS shall provide.

TAKING POLITICAL CORRECTNESS TOO FAR?

A school has been accused of "mind-blowing" political correctness after it staged a homosexual version of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet - called Romeo and Julian.

The play was performed by teenagers at a mixed school in east London to coincide with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered (LGBT) History Month.

The original text was reworked to incorporate the gay twist by the comprehensive's drama teacher, Jo Letson, to raise awareness of homophobic bullying.

However, the version, which was praised by actor Sir Ian McKellen when he saw it last month, caused a stir in parliament on Thursday.

Calling for a debate on political correctness during questions on upcoming Commons business, Tory MP Philip Davies said: "This is mind-blowing.

"Anyone with an ounce of sense would want their children to be learning 'Romeo and Juliet' rather than 'Romeo and Julian.'"

The MP for Shipley in Yorkshire added: "Romeo and Juliet is one of the greatest works ever written. It is a play that every child should study.

"It is very worrying that this literary masterpiece is being used for such a politically-correct purpose."

But Commons leader Harriet Harman rebuked him, saying: "I seem to remember that in Shakespearean times, boys would play girls and girls would play boys and the whole point was trying work out which was which.

"There is going to be a debate next Thursday about new equality legislation so we can ensure everybody in this country is treated with fairness, respect and not subject to prejudice and discrimination – and indeed cheap shots – from you."

The play was performed by students aged 14 to 16 at Leytonstone School last month.

Sir Ian, himself a leading Shakespearean actor and spokesman for the gay rights group Stonewall, said he had been "moved" to watch children addressing homophobia on stage.

He said: "It was moving to watch young people wanting to tackle homophobia in their own ways at Leytonstone School.

"Romeo and Julian" provokes just the sort of discussion which is needed on gay issues but beyond that the school in all its departments is determined to make an environment where all students can achieve their potential, regardless of their sexuality."

The school's headteacher, Luke Burton, said: "The student performances were outstanding and reflected the hard work of students and staff."

(Daily Telegraph)

Do you still use 'proper' script when you write? I am afraid I do not and my writing nowadays is not 'joined' up, but consists mostly of capital letters.

I suppose that is a shame, because it is always a pleasure to receive a beautiful hand-written letter.

I am afraid though that good hand-writing is a dying art, as revealed in these extracts from an article in today's Daily Telegraph.

Christmas cards, shopping lists and what else? The occasions in which we write by hand are fewer and fewer, says Neil Hallows.

A century from now, our handwriting may only be legible to experts.

For some, that is already the case. But writer Kitty Burns Florey says the art of handwriting is declining so fast that ordinary, joined-up script may become as hard to read as a medieval manuscript.

"When your great-great-grandchildren find that letter of yours in the attic, they'll have to take it to a specialist, an old guy at the library who would decipher the strange symbols for them," says Ms Florey, author of the newly-published Script and Scribble: The Rise and Fall of Handwriting.

She argues that children - if not this generation then one soon to come - may grow up using only a crude form of printing for the rare occasions in life they need to communicate by pen.

For Ms Florey, the answer should start in the classroom. Not a return to the nuns with sticks, but for children to value handwriting by learning a simple, legible, attractive script from the start - in her view a form of italic - and then keep reinforcing it beyond the early years.

"Maybe a couple of times a week [pupils] could produce something handwritten that is judged partly on its legibility, or even its beauty."

Perhaps the best argument for keeping our pens is that otherwise, in a society that is recorded in more detail than any which came before it, we will leave plenty of data but very little of our personalities behind.

Our descendants may struggle to read our letters, but they'll never even see most of our texts and e-mails.

You can read the full, rather long, article at:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7907888.stm

Several days ago I wrote here about the government insisting that CCTV cameras must be installed in all premises that sell alcohol.

Now there is a further development.

In some places in the UK "Lollipop Ladies" and "Lollipop Men" (supervisors of school crossings) were last year issued with cameras that sit on their shoulders like parrots.

The idea was to record motorists who are abusive or who drive dangerously towards them.

However, these cameras are too visible and they have now gone undercover. They are being incorporated into the lollipop stick.

If they stop anyone being injured, I suppose they are a good idea - but it is sad that we have to adopt these subversive methods to make people behave properly.

Youngsters perplexed by 'palavers' and dumbstruck with the 'doolally' antics of their grandparents can now consult an online dictionary to help bridge the language gap.

A dictionary of "gran slang" has been created to help young people understand their elders.

Words like 'telegram' and 'tomfoolery' feature in the dictionary along with 'hullabaloo' and 'poppycock'

The authors, commissioned by Home and Capital Advisors, have also produced a dictionary of slang words popular with teenagers.

Some words, such as 'wag' and 'mint', feature in both lists.

Older people would consider a 'wag' as a mischievous character while youngsters would see the partner of a footballer.

Nigel Hare-Scott, managing director of Home & Capital advisers, said: "There is a vast array of guides on youth street slang to assist older people in bridging the generational gap, but nothing on the market to aid teenagers understand the language of pensioners.

Many of the words used by teenagers today are incomprehensible to older generations, but it must be equally baffling for younger people trying to get to grips with the lexicon of their grandparents.

"Understanding is a two-way street and that is where the "gran slang" dictionary comes in."

"No longer will the word 'mint', used by young people to denote approval, be confused with a request for a hard-boiled, peppermint-flavoured sweet," Mr Hare-Scott added.

(Daily Telegraph)

P.S. I can't believe that children nowadays don't know what a 'telegram' is/was.

SHOCK AS BIBLE STORIES ARE TRANSLATED INTO COCKNEY RHYMING SLANG

When teacher Keith Park was struggling to get his pupils interested in Bible stories, he used his loaf and came up with a blinding idea. He translated them into cockney rhyming slang.

Stories such as Adam and Eve, the Nativity and Cain and Abel were transformed by Mr Park. And when he read them out in class, the previously bored and restless youngsters were entranced.

He compiled the reworked tales in a book, 'Bible Stories in Cockney Rhyming Slang', which is now being used in drama workshops at schools across the country.

The move has received widespread support, but traditionalists claim the book could ‘dumb down’ the Christian message.

Mr Park wrote it after discovering that the language appealed to pupils at Charlton
School in Greenwich, South-East London, which caters for children with special educational needs.

Mr Park, who works there part-time, has used his book in sessions at around 30 mainstream and special schools and plans to expand the workshops further.

He recreated the story of Adam and Eve in the style of Del-Boy, the character in the sitcom Only Fools and Horses.

To retell Samson and Delilah, Mr Park deployed the ‘corny humour and double meaning’ of the Carry On films.

He used Barbara Windsor as inspiration for Delilah, whose lines include: ‘Yoo hoo Samson! Mr Triceps! Where you get those bulging biceps?’

Mr Park insists that he does not intend to be disrespectful by retelling the Bible stories in an unusual way. He points out that pupils from Charlton School performed his work at Westminster Abbey and St Paul’s Cathedral last year.

He said: ‘Some people will be offended but I have always said there’s no offence intended. I would hope it’s the opposite of dumbing down. They are first and foremost stories and there are certain stories that a lot of people don’t have access to. People can have fun doing this and then go and read the original or do them in tandem.’

Reverend Rod Thomas, chairman of Reform, a group of Conservative evangelical clergy, said: ‘If you failed to introduce children to the Bible as it’s accurately translated and just relied on this, it would be dumbing down.

‘But if it’s used as something to illustrate and engage people in the real thing then I think it’s likely to be very positive.’

And Dr Justin Thacker, head of theology at the Evangelical Alliance, said: ‘I think it’s great that these stories should be told in a way that connects with contemporary audiences, as long as the essential truth remains the same.’

But Nick Seaton of the Campaign for Real Education, said: ‘It’s dumbing down and it’s disrespectful. It will do nothing to engage or promote religion at all. It’s simply reducing religion to a joke.’

(Daily Mail)

Anyone buying alcohol - in pubs, shops and supermarkets - will be monitored by CCTV cameras

Big Brother CCTV cameras are to be fitted inside shops and supermarkets on the orders of the state to keep track on anybody buying alcohol.

A law is being quietly pushed through Parliament giving councils the power to order licensed premises to fit the surveillance cameras. Pubs will also be covered.

The footage of people innocently buying a bottle of wine in a shop or a pint of beer in a bar must be stored for at least 60 days, and be handed over to the police on demand.

Critics say it will mean that citizens will now be tracked everywhere they go. The UK already has more than four million closed-circuit TV cameras covering the streets – the largest number in the world.

Cars are also automatically monitored using cameras that check registration plates. Now shops and pubs will also be covered.

The measures form part of the Policing and Crime Bill, but have not been highlighted by Ministers.

Under a code of conduct, which will be enforced by the Bill, any business that intends to sell alcohol will have to agree to install the cameras.

Phil Booth, of the NO2ID privacy campaign, said: ‘We are already a country with more CCTV cameras than anywhere else in the civilised world, but this law is systemising the surveillance of a nation. People will be treated like suspects wherever they go.’

James Brokenshire, a Tory home affairs spokesman, said: ‘The risk is that these provisions could be used as a way to impose blanket CCTV requirements where they just aren’t necessary. This mustn’t be another way of extending the surveillance society by the back door.’

Earlier this week, it was revealed that police were warning pubs they would not support their licensing applications unless they agreed to train the intrusive cameras on their customers.

The first blanket policy has been introduced in the London borough of Islington, where all applicants wanting a licence to sell alcohol are being told they must fit CCTV.

Other forces are adopting similar tactics. But the planned new law goes much further, as it will allow councils – which ultimately hand out all licences – to insist on the CCTV cameras.

(From am article in the Daily Mail)

The story of "Father at 13" has been forgotten for the time being - but watch this space.

In the meantime, Matt makes a wry comment.

Deja Vu?

Go to:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1151484/The-boy-father-12-calls-jail-cell-home.html

POLICE INSTALL CAMERAS TO CATCH OFFICERS NOT WASHING UP

Police have installed a CCTV camera in their own canteen to catch officers who refuse to wash up.

After numerous complaints from the tidier officers, senior managers decided to do something about the mess and decided to place a CCTV camera above the kitchen sink.

PCs who use the kitchen - 800 in total - have dubbed the scheme 'Grimewatch' and are said to be furious at being watched over on their breaks.

The fourth floor kitchen at the police station in Brighton, Sussex, has been affected by rubbish, litter, spilled food and dirty crockery since a recent refurbishment.

Police rank and file were told about the plan for a camera this week by Sussex's new chief superintendent Graham Bartlett.

The management said the camera was a 'deterrent' to stop officers leaving dirty plates and litter.

He said: "A small minority of people have been misusing the facilities which were provided by public money.

"I have therefore had to reluctantly take the decision that, in order to protect these facilities, we will use an overt camera to disuade people from spoiling the facility for others."

Des Turner, MP for Brighton Kemptown, said: "This gives a new meaning to the phrase, the Filth."

An anonymous officer said: "What a waste of public money.

"Tough on crime, tougher on causers of grime."

Chief Supt Bartlett said damage to the kitchen would waste money meant for policing.

Brian Stockham, chairman of Sussex Police Federation, which acts as the officers' union, said representatives have raised the issue and plan to confront managers.

He said: "We have had representations made to us that this is happening. It will be dealt with with local management by our local representatives.

"At first sight it seems somewhat excessive.

"The mind boggles as to what abuses of facilities could be monitored by the service in future."

(Daily Telegraph)

Eight is the average age at which children are given their first mobile phone, according to a survey.

More than a third of children (35 per cent) own a mobile by the time they are that age, the charity Personal Finance Education Group (pfeg) discovered.

Its survey also found that three-quarters of all children aged seven to 15 owned "at least" one mobile.

The charity's survey highlighted how early children now become financially aware – with peer pressure forcing them to get to grips with money to afford mobile phone ringtones, call costs and computer games.

It found that children as young as seven were offering to do chores in exchange for cash to buy ringtones.

But researchers were also told that by the age of 10, children were shopping online using their parents' debit or credit cards.

A third of children (32 per cent) have used the internet to buy computer games.

A quarter of the 546 children surveyed have voted in television competitions, which can often cost £1 or more to enter.

But only 18 per cent have bought a book online.

Wendy van den Hende, chief executive of the charity, said: "Children today face a kind of 'technological tipping point' forcing them to develop financial awareness at an earlier age.

"It is therefore, vital, that they are equipped with the skills and judgment to make sound decisions about money management from an early age."

The research also found that average weekly pocket money now stands at £6.32.

The online survey carried out by Populus questioned 1,435 people including 546 children aged seven to 15, 676 parents and 759 grandparents between January 16 and 26.

(Daily Telegraph)

A railway station has banned kissing after bosses claimed commuters were being delayed by passionate embraces.

Managers put up a sign, showing two pecking silhouettes within a circle and a red line through them.

It means that romantic farewells, like the one immortalised by Trevor Howard and Celia Johnson in the classic film 'Brief Encounter', will no longer be seen.

Passengers are now prohibited from doing any more than shaking hands while standing in line at the taxi rank outside Warrington Bank Quay Station.

If lovers insist on kissing, they have to go to a designated area.

The move, which was part of a recent £1million revamp of the Cheshire station, have so far drawn a mixed response from commuters.

The idea was suggested by Colin Daniels, chief executive of Warrington Chamber of Commerce.

Mr Daniels said: ‘It was all a bit of fun. But now Virgin Trains have agreed to put them up as part of the refurbishment.

‘They may seem frivolous, but there is a serious message underneath. They certainly make our station unique.’

The first kissing zones emerged at American stations in the 1950s for wives to say goodbye to husbands heading to work.

But the village of Deerfield, near Chicago, hit the headlines in 1979 when it created a 'No Kissing Zone' at its station after complaints about passionate couples causing traffic delays.

A couple were arrested in India last September after claims their kiss outside a Delhi train station left commuters 'feeling bad'.

But an obscenity charge was overthrown by the courts earlier this month.

(Daily Mail)

This couple at St Pancras Staion in London seem to have escaped the ban

These are for all the women who want a good put-down in response to some of the lame lines they're likely to hear in a bar, at work, on the bus, or anywhere really:

HE - Can I buy you a drink?
SHE - Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE - Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE - Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE - How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE - I must've been given your share.

HE- Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE - And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE - Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE - Okay, get out.

HE - What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE - Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE - Can I have your name?
She - Why? Don't you already have one?

HE - Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE - Do not enter.

HE - If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE - If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

HE - Where have you been all my life?
SHE - Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

(From the BBC)

"The Wixams" Few houses - no school

HEADTEACHER PAID £60,000 TO RUN SCHOOL THAT DOESN'T EXIST IN TOWN WIH NO PUPILS

It was supposed to be one of John Prescott’s flagship new towns designed to ease Britain’s housing crisis, creating homes for 10,000 people, with its own schools, shopping centre, library and sports centre.

But because of planning delays and the economic crisis, only a handful of houses have been built and just three people have moved in.

One thing it does have, though, is a headteacher who is being paid about £60,000 a year to run a school with no buildings and no pupils.

Susan Vint was hired last month to take charge of Lakeview Lower School in The Wixams, a 750-acre new-town development near Bedford.

But Bedfordshire County Council, which had hoped the school would be built by June this year, admits it still has not chosen a firm to build it or even started the three-month process to choose a suitable construction company.

Officials say Ms Vint is ‘busy preparing’ for an opening date in September, but those monitoring the work believe the school will not be up and running until late 2010.

Liberal Democrat councillor Susan Gaszczak said: ‘We have a headteacher but no school and no children and I think this situation is going to continue for another 18 months.’

Matthew Elliott, chief executive of the TaxPayers’ Alliance, said: ‘This is an absurd waste of taxpayers’ money. This headmistress should never have been hired if there was no job for her to do.

‘Once it became clear the school would not be finished within the next year, her contract should have been terminated and the money that pays her salary could have been spent on teachers and text books when the school does open.’

Caroline Spelman, Shadow Local Government and Communities Secretary, said: ‘This is yet another example of the Labour Government’s lack of foresight.

'This project could have been completed in the good years but due to Labour’s dithering there is now the ridiculous situation where a head teacher has been hired at local taxpayers’ expense with no school built, let alone the town that was expected to provide the pupils.’

(Daily Mail)

To be built in 2010? They'll be lucky!

This story was all over the UK TV and newspapers yesterday but, in case any of you overseas missed it, here it is again.

A sad commentary on society in Britain today

At first glance, Alfie Patten looks like a young lad proudly welcoming his new baby sister into the world.

To learn this baby-faced child is actually the father of the newborn shocked me to the core.

Twelve-year-old boys should be playing football and computer games — not having sex and playing dad.

His assertion that he “will be good and care for it” is heartbreakingly naïve.

How? He doesn’t even get pocket money.

Neither Alfie nor his “girlfriend” seemed to have the faintest clue about what might be the life-changing consequences of their actions.

What a damning indictment on Britain’s hugely expensive sex education programme in schools.

When boys as emotionally and physically child-like as Alfie start creating babies, it’s the thin end of a wedge that will break the existing cracks in society so wide open that there’ll be no hope of repair.

Boy-dad Alfie Patten yesterday admitted he does not know how much nappies cost — but said: “I think it’s a lot.”

Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne.

He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant.

The shy lad, whose voice has not yet broken, said: “I thought it would be good to have a baby.

“I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10.”

Alfie, who is just 4ft tall, added: “When my mum found out, I thought I was going to get in trouble. We wanted to have the baby but were worried how people would react.

“I didn’t know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it.”

Alfie’s dad Dennis told how the lad does not really understand the enormity of his situation — but seemed desperate to be a devoted and responsible father.

He wanted to be the first to hold Maisie after the hospital birth. He tenderly kisses the baby and gives her a bottle.

And Dennis, 45, said: “He could have shrugged his shoulders and sat at home on his Playstation. But he has been at the hospital every day.”

Maisie was conceived after Chantelle and Alfie — just 12 at the time — had a single night of unprotected sex.

They found out about the baby when Chantelle was 12 weeks pregnant.

But they kept it a secret until six weeks later when Chantelle’s mum Penny, 38, became suspicious about her weight gain and confronted her.

After that Alfie’s family told only those closest to them for fear he would be “demonised” at school.

Chantelle gave birth to Maisie on Monday night after a five-hour labour at Eastbourne Hospital, East Sussex.

Last night she told The Sun: “I’m tired after the birth. I was nervous after going into labour but otherwise I was quite excited.”

Chantelle told how she discovered she was expecting after going to her GP with “really bad” stomach pains.

She said: “Me and Alfie went. The doctor asked me whether we had sex. I said yes and he said I should do a pregnancy test. He did the test and said I was pregnant. I started crying and didn’t know what to do.

“He said I should tell my mum but I was too scared.

“We didn’t think we would need help from our parents. You don’t really think about that when you find out you are pregnant. You just think your parents will kill you.”

But Penny figured out what was going on after buying Chantelle a T-shirt which revealed her swelling tum.

Chantelle admitted she and Alfie — who are both being supported by their parents — would be accused of being grossly irresponsible. She said: “We know we made a mistake but I wouldn’t change it now. We will be good loving parents.

“I have started a church course and I am going to do work experience helping other young mums.

“I’ll be a great mum and Alfie will be a great dad.”

Caring ... Alfie bottle feeds his little daughter
Lee Thompson

Chantelle and Maisie were released from hospital yesterday. They are living with Penny, Chantelle’s jobless dad Steve, 43, and her five brothers in a rented council house in Eastbourne.

The family live on benefits. Alfie, who lives on an estate across town with mum Nicola, 43, spends most of his time at the Steadmans’ house.

He is allowed to stay overnight and even has a school uniform there so he can go straight to his classes in the morning.

Alfie’s dad, who is separated from Nicola, believes the lad is scared deep down.

He said: “Everyone is telling him things and it’s going round in his head. It hasn’t really dawned on him. He hasn’t got a clue of what the baby means and can’t explain how he feels. All he knows is mum and dad will help.

“When you mention money his eyes look away. And she is reliant on her mum and dad. It’s crazy. They have no idea what lies ahead.”

Dennis, who works for a vehicle recovery firm, described Alfie as “a typical 13-year-old boy”.

He said: “He loves computer games, boxing and Manchester United.” Dennis, who has fathered nine kids, told how he was “gobsmacked” when he discovered Alfie was to be a dad, too.

He said: “When I spoke to him he started crying. He said it was the first time he’d had sex, that he didn’t know what he was doing and of the complications that could come.

“I will talk to him again and it will be the birds and the bees talk. Some may say it’s too late but he needs to understand so there is not another baby.”

Chantelle’s mum said: “I told her it was lovely to have the baby but I wish it was in different circumstances. We have five children already so it’s a big financial responsibility. But we are a family and will pull together and get through.

“She’s my daughter. I love her and she will want for nothing.”

Last night Michaela Aston, of the anti-abortion Christian charity LIFE, said: “We commend these teenagers for their courage in bringing their child into the world.

“At the same time this is symptomatic of the over-sexualisation of our youngsters and shows the policy of value-free sex education just isn’t working.”

Britain’s youngest known father is Sean Stewart. He became a dad at 12 when the girl next door, 15-year-old Emma Webster, gave birth in Sharnbrook, Bedford, in 1998. They split six months later.

(The Sun)

Video interview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7PbJV6HlVE

P.S. Last night it emerged that Alfie's older sister Jade, now 19, also had a baby at the age of 13.

ARCHBISHOP WHO FORCED SONS ON TO 45FT-HIGH CHIMNEY FOR PHOTO IS ARRESTED FOR CHILD NEGLECT

The task in the school competition was to read a book in an unusual place.
Bishop Jonathan Blake certainly rose to the challenge.
Perhaps he also thought that putting his two young sons on top of their home's 45ft-high chimney would bring them closer to God.

Literary high: Eight-year-old Nathan reads his book on the roof of his family home

Unfortunately for the Most Reverend Mr Blake, 52, the police took a different view - and promptly arrested the father of five on suspicion of child neglect. He claims he was held in cells for 24 hours and questioned before being released on bail.

Shocked neighbours spotted Nathan, eight, and seven-year-old Dominic each calmly reading a book - The Killer Underpants by Michael Lawrence - while perched on the chimney stack.

Their father, instead of calling the fire brigade to rescue them, was happily taking photos in an attempt to win their primary school's book week competition.

A 'dangerous act': Neighbours called police after they noticed one of the Blake boys perched on top of the chimney

Mr Blake, presiding archbishop of the Open Episcopal Church, which is run from a chapel next to his home, said: 'We had been discussing doing it for quite some time but because of the weather it had been impossible to do.

Archbishop Jonathan Blake was arrested for what police described as a 'dangerous act'

'The school wanted the kids to use their imagination and other children were having their pictures taken with books in places like museums or in washing machines. We were determined to be as different as possible so I thought, 'I know just the place - the roof'. When we finally got a good day we decided to do it.

'As we were going up I noticed the neighbours were looking up at us strangely. I had no idea they were calling the police.

'I didn't see it as unsafe because the boys are used to climbing. The kids were up there for about ten minutes each as I took different pictures.

'I didn't think it would cause such a fuss.
'
He said the boys got on to the roof of their home in Welling, South-East London, by clambering up on to a flat-roofed extension at the back of the two-storey house.

He also claimed he had attached them in a secure harness - although none was visible in the pictures he took.

Fellow parents at St Thomas More Roman Catholic Primary School in Bexleyheath expressed dismay at his actions. Katherine Picketts, 26, said: 'It is absolutely bonkers. Why would you ever dream of putting your kid on the chimney?
'
Another mother, who did not want to be named, said: 'It is things like this that give parents a bad name. The book week scheme is a great idea but this guy has obviously missed the point.
'
Mr Blake was arrested on January 29. Police, who described the stunt as a 'dangerous act', spoke to the boys and then handcuffed Mr Blake.

He was later released on police bail and officers have said they are taking no further action.

Mr Blake and his wife Annette, 49, have been told they may also face a social services investigation.

(Daily Mail)

FANCY A CHANGE?

To millions of devout Hindus, it's the real thing: a cola made from the urine of India's sacred cows.

The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh, India's leading Hindu cultural group, has developed Gau Jal or Cow Water, at its research centre in the Indian holy city of Haridwar on the River Ganges, and hopes it will be marketed as a 'healthy' alternative to Coke and Pepsi.

Hindus worship cows for their life-sustaining dairy products, but many also consume bovine urine and faeces in drinks and spice mixes for their "health-giving" properties.

In some Indian states, cow dung and urine are sold in regular dairy shops alongside milk and yogurt, and "ayurvedic" Indian health food companies make porridge, toothpaste and tonic drinks which claim to cure ailments ranging from liver complaints to diabetes and cancer.

The urine is also believed to have disinfectant properties while the dung is used in many Indian village huts as a clean and antiseptic flooring.

Now, the RSS's Cow Protection Department has invented a new urine-based soft drink it hopes will promote its health-giving properties to a wider market. "We refer to gau ark (cow urine) as gau jal (cow water) as it has immense potential to cure various diseases. We have developed a soft drink formula with gau jal as the base and it has been sent to a laboratory at Lucknow for testing," said director Om Prakash.

His team is now focusing on packaging, marketing, and of course preservation to stop its curative drink from going whiffy in the summer heat.

"It will be a revolution of sorts. The acceptance of cow urine as a potent medicine is increasing day by day and once it comes as a cold drink, its demand will definitely increase. It will prove and justify the high stature accorded to a cow in Indian culture." he added.

(Telegraph)

Moo!

10-YEAR-OLDS PAID TO STOP SMOKING

Children as young as ten are being given £15 in shopping vouchers by the NHS to quit smoking.

The youngsters must take a carbon monoxide test to prove they have kicked the habit for 28 days to earn the reward which can be spent in WH Smith, Argos, Boots or BodyShop.

Pregnant teenagers trying to give up smoking can also take part in another incentive scheme which offers £5 Asda or Co-op vouchers.

Shadow health secretary Andrew Lansley said the initiative was a waste of money which could even encourage children to start smoking.
'NHS money shouldn't be used to bribe people to do the right thing,' he added.

Six per cent of all children in England aged between 11 and 15 smoke as well as 15 per cent of 15-year-olds, according to anti-smoking group ASH, The figure has come down from eight per cent of 11- to 15-year-olds before the smoking ban came in.

The reward scheme has been set up by NHS Brighton and Hove, which said one ten-year-old smoker was already trying to earn the £15.

Health promotion manager Kate Lawson said: 'If someone stops when they are young they will feel the benefits immed iately and saves the NHS millions of pounds as well as saving lives.'

ASH spokeswoman Amanda Sandford said: 'Although it is encouraging that smoking rates are going down with youngsters the younger the person taking up smoking the higher the risk of disease such as lung cancer.'

But Mr Lansley said: 'We have to be careful we don't appear to be encouraging people to take up smoking in order to reward them for giving up.'

The Department of Health said smokers were up to four times more likely to quit with NHS support but said schemes such as the Brighton one were 'a local matter'.

(Metro)

Surely education would be a cheaper and more effective way of dealing with this problem?

Would you let this girl go to school wearing a skirt like this?

She is 13 years old for God's sake!

PUPIL REDUCED TO TERAS AFTER TEACHER TELLS HER "THAT SHORT SKIRT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A SLUT AND DOES NOTHING FOR YOUR CELLULIE."

Aisher Smyth might have expected a firm ticking-off for adjusting her school skirt to make it shorter.

But the 13-year-old was reduced to tears when her careers adviser said she was making herself ‘look like a slut’.

Aisher says she was stacking chairs in the school dining hall when Virginia Green
told her to lengthen her skirt.
Mrs Green is then said to have made the ‘slut’ comment before adding that the short
skirt was ‘not doing much for your cellulite’.

The remark was overheard by staff and pupils at Bohunt School in Liphook, Hampshire.

Last night, Aisher’s mother Amanda, 36, said: ‘I couldn’t believe that a teacher would use such foul and disgusting language to a pupil.

‘It’s the kind of thing that you might expect another pupil to say but teachers should know better. It’s tantamount to bullying.

‘Aisher has a birthmark on her thigh which I think Mrs Green must have mistaken for cellulite.

'For one of her teachers to make a comment like that about it was really hurtful and she was very upset.’

The mother-of-three added: ‘Teachers should be giving children confidence for their future lives, not speaking to them in such a despicable way.’

Mrs Green, a member of support staff at the school which specialises in languages, has written to Mrs Smyth apologising for the distress and upset she caused.

The 38-year-old teacher said she had been frustrated that Aisher failed to respond to her first request to roll down the skirt’s waistband.

She admitted her words were ‘groundless and offensive’.

Denis Foster, a senior teacher at Bohunt, said Mrs Green had not been suspended but would face internal disciplinary procedures.

In a letter of apology to Mrs Smyth, he wrote: ‘I find it regrettable that such indiscreet comments were made in earshot of any pupil and can understand why Aisher felt they were aimed at her.

‘I don’t believe they were, but sympathise with Aisher.’

Mistaken: The birthmark possibly mistaken for cellulite

(Mail Online)

A motorist sued a council for £20,000 over the stress of receiving four parking tickets.

Zun Noon, who refused to pay the four £50 fines, claimed he suffered emotional distress after bailiffs were sent round to reclaim the money.

After a court found in his favour, Mr Noon gave the council a taste of its own medicine and sent his own bailiffs to its offices to collect his damages.

Mr Noon's battle against Newham Council in East London started in October 2007 when he was apparently captured by a council CCTV camera committing the parking offences.
Two more fines arrived the following month, as well as a fourth penalty which was a duplicate of a previous one and was later dropped.

Mr Noon, from Tower Hamlets, was so incensed he launched a counterclaim for emotional distress at Bow County court.

After Newham Council failed to attend the hearing the judge awarded him £20,000 - £5,000 for each ticket.

Bailiffs went to Newham's 'Parking Shop' in East Ham last November to present a 'notice of seizure' and began taking computers and putting them in a van. The council took 30 minutes before paying up.

Si-Ling Pang, a spokeswoman for Newham Council said: 'They were unplugging computers and taking them away. If they'd unplugged the server it would have cost us thousands of pounds worth of damage so we had to pay to stop it.'

The cost to taxpayers has since risen to £27,566.83 including a service charge and costs resulting from the time taken to settle the case.

N.B. The council, which says it never received a summons, has since taken the case back to Bow County Court, which ruled in its favour and ordered Mr Noon to repay the money.

(Mail Online)

A car abandoned in a garage for 50 years by an eccentric doctor who was a compulsive hoarder has been sold at auction for more than £3million.

The 1937 Bugatti Type 57S was found at the home of Dr Harold Carr amid piles of medical machinery, 1,500 beer steins, thousands of receipts and even a World War Two spy drone.

His family made the profitable discovery as they sorted through his possessions following his death.

1937 Bugatti Type 57S Atalante, one of only 17 made in the world

The vehicle was bought by a telephone bidder when it went under the hammer at Bonhams' Retromobile car show and sale in Paris for £3,043,293.

The car was originally owned by racing enthusiast Earl Howe, who was the first president of the British Racing Driver's Club.

He took delivery of the sporty two-seat Atalante after it was completed in 1937 and kept it for eight years.

After Earl Howe sold it, it changed hands a couple of time before Dr Carr bought the car in 1955 from Lord Ridley, a member of the Northumberland gentry.

Dr Carr, an orthopaedic surgeon who served as an army doctor during World War Two and also became a keen flier, bought the vehicle in 1955 for £895 - the equivalent of £15,500 today.

He drove the car for the first few years but in the early 1960s it was parked in his garage where it remained for nearly 50 years until his death.

When the surgeon passed away in 2007 his nephew was left to clear out his garage and he found the car inside.

It was offered for sale with an extensive file of correspondence documenting its history.

It still has its original chassis, engine, drivetrain and body. The car even has what appears to be a remarkably low mileage with an odometer reading of just 26,284.

It is highly coveted by collectors as only 17 were ever made and at least four of those are thought to belong to the Musee Nationale de L'Automobile in Mulhouse, France.

Others remain in the hands of private collectors.

He never married and eight relatives are to share the proceeds of his estate.

A nephew, who wishes to remain anonymous, previously told the Mail: 'We knew he had some cars, but we had no idea what they were.

'It was a bit of local folklore that he had a Bugatti, but no one knew for sure. It's worth so much because he hasn't used it for 50 years. It was one of the original supercars.

'When it was built it could reach 130mph at a time when other cars could only do 50mph. Of course we are delighted and we're going to make sure the money is shared out among the family. It's a wonderful thing to leave.'

He described his uncle as 'a very eccentric old gent', adding: 'I suppose you could call him a mad doctor. People who saw him in the street thought he was a tramp. He would wear two pairs of trousers at the same time.

'All the children would laugh at him in the street when he tinkered with his cars because he wore a piece of rubber tube round his head to stop the oil getting in his hair. But he was always such a generous man.'

The car was snapped up at auction in Paris for more than £3m

In his later years Dr Carr suffered from a form of obsessive compulsive disorder and hoarded everything in the house he refused to leave.

Files were piled 6ft high at his detached home, including even receipts for pencils bought in the 1950s.

'Since he died, it has taken me 18 months to get where I am today,' said the nephew.

The car was snapped up at auction in Paris for more than £3m

(Mail on Sunday)

TOY COMPANY TO LAUNCH 'BLACKBERRY' FOR TODDLERS

At this rate, toddlers will be able to text before they can walk.
An American firm has come up with a gadget to teach your three-year-old how to text, spell and link up with computers.

The phone-sized device has already been nicknamed a 'baby Blackberry' and has a full qwerty keyboard and LCD screen. Users send text messages to a built-in pen-pal - a virtual puppy named Scout - but they cannot actually go online.

Its maker, Californian firm LeapFrog, calls the toy Text & Learn. It is expected to go on sale in the spring and cost £30.

Dubbed the 'BlackBerry for babies' the 'Text and Learn' device from LeapFrog looks like an over-sized PDA and is designed for children as young as three-years-old.

The gadget helps youngsters learn how to 'browse' and 'text' without going online, allaying parental fears of their children being contacted by strangers or cyber-bullies.

The PDA also has a calendar to help youngsters to learn dates and some educational games to develop basic computer skills.

(Daily Mail)

You can see the device demonstrated at:

http://www.engadget.com/2009/02/04/leapfrog-text-and-learn-hands-on-look-what-rim-hath-wrought/

It is something I have said for a long time - most pizzas you buy when eating out are far too big, unless you share.

Now the head of an international pizza chain has said the same thing.

John Schnatter, founder of Papa John's Pizza, has urged customers not to eat entire pizzas.

Speaking on BBC Radio 4, he said "Pizzas are healthy for you if you don't eat too much of it. You can't eat five or six slices.- but if you eat one or two slices it's very nutritious. A slice or two is good for you.

The 47-year-old delivered the advice, even though customers cannot buy less than a whole pizza at any of the company's 118 takeaways in the UK or 2,500 US outlets.

The smallest Papa John's pizza, which costs £6.99, has six slices, the medium, at £8.99, has eight slices and the large, at £9.99, has 10 slices.

The radio interviewer commented: "I'm not sure your investors would want to hear you tell people don't eat too much of our pizzas."

The blunder bears resemblance to the infamous comments by Gerald Ratner, the former chief executive of British jewellery company Ratners Group, in which he mocked his own products.

During his speech at the Institute of Directors in 1991, Mr Ratner branded one of his products as "total c---" and joked that some of the firm's earrings were "cheaper than an M&S prawn sandwich but probably wouldn't last as long".

The gaffe wiped £500million off the value of his business overnight as customers boycotted the chain.

(Abridged from an article in Telegraph Online)

MAN PULLS OUT 13 OF HIS OWN TEETH

A former soldier pulled his own teeth out with a pair of pliers because he could not find a dentist to take on NHS patients.

Iraq War veteran Ian Boynton could not afford to go private for treatment so instead took the drastic action to remove 13 of his teeth that were giving him severe pain.

The 42-year-old, from Beverley, East Yorkshire, had not had his teeth looked at since seeing the army dentist in 2003.

He had not been registered with a dentist of his own since 2001.

He said: 'I've tried to get in at 30 dentists over the last eight years but have never been able to find one to take on NHS patients.'

But when Mr Boynton started suffering from toothache in 2006 he decided to take drastic action.

He said: 'I started having pain in a front tooth, which protruded slightly more than the others. I was constantly fiddling with it and wiggling it because it hurt so much.

'In the end I knew it had to come out and had to use the pliers to pull it. Amazingly, it did not hurt as much as you might think.

'I think I'd been prising it that much in the meantime that I'd been killing the nerve.'

In the last two years Mr Boynton has pulled out 13 top teeth including molars, incisors and canines.

He now only has two teeth left in the roof of his mouth.

Unemployed Mr Boynton, who is single, said: 'It's a horrible situation to be in when you can't afford to go to the dentist when your teeth were so bad.'

In a stroke of ill-timed luck he has now finally found a dentist to take him on.

Mr Boynton said: 'I think the situation has improved slightly because of all the uproar. Unfortunately it came too late for me.

'I desperately needed a dentist because, although I'm no longer in pain, I need to have false teeth as I'm finding it difficult to eat.

'Unfortunately I can't make false teeth myself.'

(Daily Mail)

CRICKET TEAM TOLD IT CAN'T CALL ITSELF "THE CRUSADERS" . . .
IN CASE IT OFFENDS MUSLIMS AND JEWS

A cricket team has been forced to change its name after angry complaints from Muslims and Jews.

The "Middlesex Crusaders", who have played under the name for almost 10 years, will play next season as the "Panthers".

Bosses at the county club acted after protests about the name from Jewish and Muslim communities, who said they felt it was a reference to the religious wars waged by Christians in Europe against other faiths.

But Middlesex members condemned the decision to change the team’s name and described the move as “batty”.

“The world really has gone mad,” one said. “It’s a real kick in the teeth and is bound to upset a lot of fans.”

Middlesex chief executive Vinny Codrington said his club “had one or two complaints from our Muslim community and our Jewish community”.

“The name was nothing whatsoever to do with the Crusades in the 11th and 12th century,” Mr Codrington said.

Middlesex, which plays most of its home games at Lord’s in St John’s Wood, won the 2008 Twenty20 Cup.

Middlesex Crusaders, Sorry - "Panthers"

(Daily Mail)

P.S. Oh dear! It has happened elsewhere. I was going to say the "Crusaders" (The Christian Youth Group founded in the UK, but now with branches all over the world) would have to change its name. But it already has - and is now called "Urban Saints"

A village has won its campaign against BT to have its traditional red telephone kiosk returned - but without a phone.

Residents of East Prawle, Devon, held a sit-in protest to stop the telecommunications firm removing the popular phone box.

It was removed despite their campaign, but villagers continued to bombard BT with complaints.

The company eventually agreed to return the red phone box and even waived the standard £1 purchase price.

They paid to have it re-set in concrete back in its original spot - but said it would not include a phone.

Parish councillor Roger Tucker said the box would instead be used as a street light.

He said: "A telephone kiosk has been at the top of the hill for over 50years.There's no phone in it now but it has got a light in.

"There's no street light here so it will make a very useful lamp."

A spokesman for BT said it was the first time it had agreed to return a red phone box.

"THIS BOTTLE CONTAINS MILK"

In a nation seemingly overcome by health and safety paranoia, it's only natural for shops to seek to protect themselves from litigious customers.

So even the most inoffensive products can be plastered with warnings that they contain 'nuts', 'eggs', ' shellfish' or some other potential allergen.

Asda, however, really is milking this trend for all it's worth.

Under the heading 'Allergy advice', plastic bottles of milk sold by the supermarket carry a serious warning - 'Contains milk'.

Apparently, that the product is called milk and the milk is plain to see are insufficient signals to those who are dairy intolerant.

The Asda episode is indicative of a policy by supermarkets and food manufacturers to liberally stamp warnings on products to avoid legal complications.

They fear that failing to include the warning will leave them vulnerable to compensation if a shopper suffers an adverse reaction.

(From the "Daily Mail")

SANHURST CHAPLAIN BANS CREED

Sandhurst military academy has dropped the Church of England Creed from services over fears that it may offend religious minorities.

The move has outraged worshippers who say centuries of religious tradition have been sacrificed for the sake of political correctness.

Senior chaplain Reverend Jonathan Gough dropped the Christian declaration of faith in God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, when he took office earlier this month.

Mr Gough – nicknamed the ‘Right On Rev’ by some of his flock – says he wants avoid offending non-believers.

But Christian cadets and civilians were furious when the traditional Anglican service abruptly ended without the Creed being read last Sunday.

Although no official announcement was made, a fellow Chaplain said it had been removed ‘to stop upsetting cadets who do not believe in God’.

Last night the Ministry of Defence confirmed the Creed, which also refutes heresy, had been withdrawn from services at the Royal Memorial Chapel to make the church more inclusive.

This is despite the fact that it is not compulsory for any Sandhurst cadets to attend.

Both Princes William and Harry trained at the prestigious academy in Camberley, Surrey.

One senior member of the Chapel yesterday said the decision to cut the affirmation of faith was ludicrous. He said: ‘It’s a disgrace. Nobody was told and everybody has been left shocked and angry. It’s just an attempt to be “right on”.’

The Creed, found in the book of Common Prayer, begins: ‘I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried’.

Theologian, Dr Richard Bell, from Nottingham University, said it was ‘something that unites most Christians and for the vast majority it is the act of stating who you are’.

He added: ‘The Creed is the central plank of the Church of England service. If you give up on that you are effectively giving up on God. Frankly I’m appalled by this decision.’

Former army officer Patrick Mercer, who went on to become the Bishop of Exeter, last night led calls for the Creed to be returned.

Mr Mercer, who trained at Sandhurst, said: ‘If you go to an Anglican Church service you expect to hear an Anglican service. I think the good reverend is being a little too precious.’

Mr Gough, 46, is a former secretary for ecumenism for Archbishop of Canterbury and has served in the Army for 20 years during conflicts in Northern Ireland, Kosovo and more recently Afghanistan.

Last night he would only say: ‘I had many options to choose from.’

(Daily Mail)