That is the motto of Winchester College and New College, Oxford and it was written by William of Wykeham more than 700 years ago.

But what is the state of manners in this country today?

A new film, directed by Shane Meadows, has opened this week showing what it was like in 1983.

How does 2007 compare? Are Britons getting ruder and ruder?

The Independent recently sent one of their reporters on the streets to look for polite society. This is what he found:

He's going to hit me. The bearded, beery bloke in the suit lurches forward, chest thrust out and fists clenched, slurring: "Wassyer problem?" Nothing mate. Sorry, I say, but he keeps on coming, eyes gleaming and fists flailing, so I step backwards, sensing the air changing behind me. The train is arriving at the platform, thank God.

It was a fair cop. Shopping gets you like that. So do buses. Waiting for the last out of Finsbury Park station at one in the morning, my mate Dan tells me how his nose got broken. "This guy was standing by the driver, so nobody else could get on. I asked him to step back a bit." After the headbutt there was blood everywhere.

That's the kind of behaviour shown in the new Shane Meadows film.

Now the Government says it is going to do something about it and good manners are going to be taught in schools.

Will it work?

A teacher is attacked every day in Britain. One teenage boy in 10 has been suspended for bad behaviour. A third of girls have been in a fight in the past year. Nearly a quarter of young people have been guilty of anti-social behaviour - defined by the Home Office as "graffiti, rudeness motivated by race or religion, being noisy or rude in public, causing people to complain or others to get in trouble with the police".

Now children in secondary schools are to be taught "emotional intelligence" as part of the national curriculum in an attempt to combat the growing tide of rudeness, violence and lack of respect. Ministers are planning to roll out "social and emotional" intelligence classes to help children to cope with anger and frustration without resorting to violence or swearing.

The programme will be integrated into the curriculum, and will teach pupils about fair play and dealing with adversity.

From September children will learn basic values and "golden rules" such as: "We are gentle, we are kind, we work hard, we look after property, we listen to people, we are honest, we do not hurt anybody."

Jim Knight, the schools minister, is to announce the plans to introduce the "Social and Emotional Aspects of Learning Classes " (Seal) in secondary schools after pilots found that it had a dramatic effect on improving behaviour in primary schools, including on attendance records and marks.

But isn't this another example of the nanny state? Surely the Government should leave it to parents to drum into their children moral values?

Or don't they care?

We all know what it is - but how do you pronounce the noun used to describe the garments these girls are wearing?

The word is "Lingerie" - and most of the English-speaking pronounce it wrongly as "lunj-er-ray" - 3 syllables and rhyming with "say".

The derivation is, of course, from the French "linge", meaning "linen" and my preferred pronunciation is "lunj-er-ee", rhyming with "sea".

More pedantic still would be to use only 2 syllables, as in the French, and say "lunj-ree" - but perhaps that is going too far.

But I can see no justification in pronouncing the end of the word as "ay" and not "ee".

So, join my campaign and say after me:

A teenager who was arrested for barking at two dogs has cleared his name in court in a case that cost the taxpayer £8,000.

Kyle Little turned on the pair of chocolate labradors after being warned by police for using bad language in the street.

He was arrested after he made canine noises at Princess and Ruby, causing them to bark back at him.

Little, 19, a jobless labourer, was charged under the Public Order Act for causing harassment, alarm or distress to the dog's owner, despite her not making a complaint.

Magistrates fined him £50 with £150 costs in January but the conviction has been quashed by a judge, who remarked: "The law is not an ass."

Judge Beatrice Bolton told Newcastle Crown Court: "I'm sure an expert on labradors could explain how distressed the dogs were but I don't think section five of the Public Order Act applies to dogs.

The prosecution had said: "He was told twice to mind his language. He then, in view of the officers, proceeded to walk to the garden where the dog was and was growling at the dog, which agitated the dog.

The judge commented: "Growling or barking at a dog does not amount to a section five offence, even if a defendant has been told by the police to curb his language.

Mr Little said: "I was walking past the lady's house when the dogs came bounding out of the porch and jumped up at the railings, they were both barking their heads off and so I did a daft little growl and went 'woof woof' at them.

"The next thing I knew I had been grabbed by the two police officers who bent my arms up behind my back and handcuffed me.

"They threw me into a van and whisked me off to the police station, where they threw me into a cell for about five hours.

"They said they were going to charge me with a public order offence for barking at the dogs. I couldn't believe it.

"This has been a joke all the way through. I am glad the judge has thrown it out of court. I am shocked it's cost so much money."

The dogs' owner, said: "He was messing about, being a daft young lad. We didn't want to see him prosecuted but the police said he was being taken to court, which we found surprising. The dogs weren't really upset by it at all."

What a waste of time and money!

There is a new cancer scare: "Electric blankets raise womb cancer risk"

Women who regularly use electric blankets to keep warm at night could be more at risk of cancer of the womb than those who don't, according to a new study.

Those asked if they had ever used an electric blanket were 15 per cent more likely to develop womb cancer than those who had never used them. But among women who regularly used the devices for 20 years or more, the risks increased by 36 per cent.

There are other risks from electromagnetic radiation too.

The Institute of Electrical and Electronic Engineers (IEEE) has just released a major report dealing with the health risks of strong electromagnetic fields generated by appliances and power lines. (50

The first indication that strong electromagnetic fields may be linked to cancer came in 1979 when American researchers discovered that children living near high-power wiring had double or triple the chance of developing leukemia, lymphoma, or tumors of the nervous system.

Since then many studies have refuted this finding while others have supported it.

Recently though, the number of studies supporting the connection have started to significantly outweigh the studies denying it.

Faulty wiring can cause extremely high fields and can be discovered by checking out your home with a gauss meter. Office buildings frequently expose workers to very high fields. Some companies have decided to vacate their office space rather than risk their employees' health.

While the connection between electromagnetic field exposure and cancer is still not acknowledged by the medical community, progressive researchers are recommending prudent precautions.

They point out that many appliances in the home and office generate potent fields; among them: electric blankets, TV screens and computer terminals, electric clocks, hair dryers, electric shavers and toothbrushes, photocopiers, ovens and microwave ovens, dishwashers, clothes dryers, and fluorescent lights. So what can you do to minimize your exposure to harmful electromagnetic fields?

*Have your home evaluated for electromagnetic hotspots and elmininate them or try to stay away from them even if it means rearranging the bedroom.

*Replace your electric blanket with a down-filled duvet or turn it off (remove plug from outlet) when you get into bed.

*Replace your computer monitor with one that meets Swedish safety standards (MPR II standards).

*Use your electric razor and hair dryer sparingly, if at all.

*Move electric clocks and telephone answering machines so that they are at least 1.5 meters away from the bed.

*Move your bed away from walls with major appliances or wiring on the other side and away from measured hotspots.

*Sit at least at arm's length distance from your computer monitor; at least 1.5 meters from the back of another monitor, and at least 2 meters away from your television screen.

Scaremongering - or not?

In the midst of increasing violence and misbehaviour in our schools, there are calls to bring back the cane.

The Bible tells us: "He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)

What do you think about that?

Perhaps, for adults, we should bring back flogging, the stocks, the pillory and the ducking stool.

Do you drink beer from the bottle, or from a glass?

Does drinking straight from the bottle place you in a particular class?

Are you proud to belong?

And what about women? What do you think drinking from the bottle says about them?

Perhaps women should always drink from a glass - but not a pint glass! Many people think that makes them look "manly" and "unattractive".

Not this one:

However, pubs are to offer beer in third-of-a-pint glasses, hoping to appeal to more women.

Believing that female drinkers are put off by pints and halves, the British Beer and Pub Association wants to see beer served in more elegant, long stemmed, third-of-a-pint glasses.

But it also wants to set the record straight on beer's calorific qualities.

Startling as it may seem, beer is less, not more, fattening than wine.

According to the BBPA, a glass of beer with a typical 4.6% alcoholic volume, has fewer calories not only than a similar measure of wine, but also milk or fruit juice.

Spirits, meanwhile, contain more than six times the calories of beer, and when mixed with a soft drink, the calorie-count soars even higher.

So all of you, whether male or female, keep off the wine and spirits and stick to beer!

Recently a Canadian university has limited Wi-Fi networks on campus, not out of information security concerns, but because the long-term safety of the technology is "unproven".

Now Britain's top health protection watchdog is pressing for a formal investigation into the hazards of using wireless communication networks in schools amid mounting concern that they may be damaging children's health.

Sir William Stewart, the chairman of the Health Protection Agency, wants pupils to be monitored for ill effects from the WI-fi networks which emit radiation and are being installed in classrooms across the nation.

Sir William - who is a former chief scientific adviser to the Government, and has chaired two official inquiries into the hazards of mobile phones - is adding his weight to growing pressure for a similar examination of Wi-Fi, which some scientists fear could cause cancer and premature senility.

Wi-Fi is rapidly being taken up in schools, with estimates that more than half of primary schools - and four-fifths of secondary schools - have installed it .

But several European provincial governments have already taken action to ban, or limit, its use in the classroom, and Stowe School has partially removed it after a teacher became ill.

My personal opinion is that the risk to health from Wi-Fi is minimal. Transmission levels are very low compared with mobile phone masts and high-power TV transmitters.

Nevertheless, I shall be switching my router OFF tonight, rather than keep it on 24/7 as I usually do.

TO TAN OR NOT TO TAN?

Cancer Research UK recently launched its annual SunSmart campaign, warning against the dangers of too much sun exposure.

But after years of obediently smothering ourselves in factor 30 and staying in the shade until dusk to avoid skin cancer, new evidence suggests that we are at risk of a host of other cancers and illnesses due to a deficiency of vitamin D, which the body makes from sunlight.

There is growing concern that we've been taking the health warnings a little too literally and now need a more balanced approach to staying safe in the summer months.

While it is obvious that too much exposure to the sun causes skin cancer, we do require some exposure to sunlight in order to manufacture vitamin D, which is necessary for good health.

This is particularly important for young children and we have seen an increase in cases of rickets where infants (and their mothers breast-feeding them) are deprived of sunshine.

I have seen some mothers so over-protective of their babies that they shield them from the slightest ray of sunshine, even at 8 in the morning.

A normal diet can provide up to 10 per cent of our requirement of vitamin D, but sunshine is the most significant source. It is estimated that nation-wide 60 per cent of the population has a vitamin D deficiency, giving rise to auto-immune disorders such as diabetes and thyroid disease, as well as osteoporosis.

You can, of course, always supplement with cod-liver oil.

There are other benefits from sunbathing.

A joint British and US study last year showed that women who had high levels of sun exposure as teenagers were less likely to have breast cancer in later life.

Similarly, a 2005 investigation by the Northern Californian Cancer Centre revealed that men who spent longer in the sun had half the risk of prostate cancer than men who had covered up.

So perhaps we should take our clothes off more often - and lie in the sun for short periods, like the man in my illustration.

Seriously, we must use a common-sense, individual approach and tailor our exposure to the sun according to our skin-type and the possible health-risks.

Extremes in either direction are bad for us, but people really need to spend some time in the sun, without sunscreen. Just exercise your own discretion and don't overdo it.

Apart from the risk of major illness, too much sun will make you wrinkly, ugly and old. Like me!

Have you been convicted of speeding on the evidence of a mobile speed gun, when you were convinced thst you were driving within the limit?

Well, perhaps you should have contested the conviction, as there is mounting evidence that speed guns can be wildly innacurate.

This is from a recent article:

Further to some accusations in the media a couple of months back that Mobile Speed Guns are being used to prosecute motorists who were in fact NOT speeding, we have been carrying out our own investigation.

Hope that response gives you some comfort -- because it certainly doesn't give me any!

That article was by Don Strauss. To read more about his campaign to beat the UK's rip-off driving system, go to:

http://www.drivingstreet.com/driving/

At least one child aged five or under is expelled from school every week and dozens more are suspended as bad behaviour among pupils soars.

What is going on?

Official Government show that increasing numbers of children are being barred from primary school for offences as serious as sexual assault, theft, racism and even drug dealing.

In an alarming disclosure, it is revealed that 230 pupils are suspended and six are permanently excluded from primary schools in England every day during term time.

The findings will fuel concerns that bad behaviour among teenagers is increasingly trickling down to the very youngest children.

Teachers claim that many pupils arrive at school without any sense of respect for adults as parents fail to impose any discipline in the home.

According to the Department for Education and Skills, 43,720 pupils were temporarily excluded from primary schools in 2004/5 - the latest available figures - an increase of 2,420 in a year. A further 1,090 pupils were permanently excluded, down on 1,270 a year earlier.

Worryingly, a significant number of pupils suspended from school had been punished for serious offences, such as sexual attacks on fellow pupils and teachers.

The Association of Teachers and Lecturers warned in a report at its annual conference in Bournemouth earlier this month of "rampant" bad behaviour in classrooms. Teachers blamed a "lack of parental guidance" for a widespread lack of respect for school staff.

"A small minority of parents do not teach their children respect for others and how to control their anger," he said.

So it's over to you parents.

Sniffer dogs are being used to detect drugs at a leading independent school, where the head teacher says the problem is endemic in classrooms across the country.

There isn't a secondary school in the state or independent sector that does not have a problem with drugs, says Anthony Seldon, the master of Wellington College in Berkshire.

His zero-tolerance policy, with automatic exclusion for pupils caught with drugs, conflicts with some private schools that are prepared to give a second chance.

Guidance by the Headmasters' and Headmistresses' Conference, representing large independent boys' and co-educational secondary schools, has suggested that pupils caught with cannabis might be re-admitted as long as they consent to regular urine tests.

But Dr Seldon said: "How can you give the message to other pupils that being busted for drugs once is fine as long as you don't do it again?"

Is this the way to go?

How about sniffing out mobile phones too?

And knives, and guns!

We usually think of polygamy to mean the situation where a man has more than one wife at the same time.

However, my dictionary says that it can also apply to a woman with several 'husbands'.

What about this one with eight men?

A fictional mock-up of course - but does it happen?

If it does, the government is prepared!

The "Guide to Housing Benefit and Council Tax Benefit" issued by the Department of Works and Pensions states that claimants in polygamous unions are entitled to "additional allowances for each additional partner".

Although polygamous marriage is not yet legal in this country, foreigners in that situation who establish residence here CAN claim benefit for each spouse.

Now then, how many of these payments are already being made.

I think we are entitled to know, don't you?

Following the break-up of Prince William and Kate Middleton there have been cruel comments about her mother, who was once an air hostess.

It is said that the chant "Doors to manual" follows her around.

Apparently she did not present hereself well to the Queen on the couple of occasions that they met. She continually chewed gum, said "Pleased to meet you" and referrred to the lavataory as the toilet.

Clearly from the wrong class to be the mother-in-law of our future King!

But how should she behave?

The Independent newspaper has today published an amusing article - "The art of etiquette: A bluffer's guide to being posh".

Here are a few extracts:

At table

Nowadays, it is thought smart to be at - or host - a "dinner party", although among the upper classes it was traditionally called supper. The meal in the middle of the day is never dinner; it is lunch. The final course is not dessert, but pudding. It is not necessary to seat your guests on new furniture or serve them with new cutlery. The best families do not buy these items, they inherit them. Hence the insult directed at the self-made millionaire Michael Heseltine by a Tory from an old family, which Alan Clark recorded in his diary, that Heseltine "bought his own furniture".

If you are a guest, you should wait until the host starts eating before you do. Should you be having a meal with the Queen, when she stops eating, so should you. When she enters the room, you stand. When eating a roll, you should break off a piece and butter it rather than butter all the roll.

Dress

Being smart is not necessarily about wearing the most expensive clothes. One Friday in the Commons, Tim Sainsbury, a Tory MP whose family founded the supermarket chain, met Nicholas Soames, descendant of the dukes of Marlborough, who was kitted out in his hunting gear. "Going rat catching, Nick?" Sainsbury asked, surprised. Soames replied: "Fuck off, you grocer: you don't tell a gentleman how to dress on a Friday."

Language

The thesis underlying Bernard Shaw's play Pygmalion and the musical My Fair Lady was that a flower seller could pass herself off as an aristocrat if she only learnt to speak the part. That is not just a matter of accent but it is also about choice of words. The commonest trap is to choose a posh sounding word, which actually is a giveaway. Mrs Middleton's crimes included using "toilet" and "pardon". You can say "lavatory" or "loo" or even 'bog', but not "toilet". And if you want someone to repeat what they have said, say so. Other words proscribed in Nancy Mitford's famous guide include mirror, settee, serviette and notepaper, which should be looking glass, sofa, napkin, and writing paper.

You can read the full article at:

http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/this_britain/article2455071.ece

A Neet

A MILLION YOUNG BRITONS ARE 'NOT IN EDUCATION, EMPLOYMENT OR TRAINING'.

More than 1.2 million 16- to 24-year-olds in England, Scotland and Wales - almost a fifth of the age group - are spending their time doing literally nothing, according to a study published last week.

Among their ranks are the troubled, the badly educated, and the feckless and work-shy.

In the 16 to 19 age bracket, 11 per cent are classed as Neets - double the proportion in Germany and France.

It has been calculated that this "lost generation" is costing the country £3.65 billion a year - enough to fund a 1p cut in income tax.

The Government estimates that each new Neet dropping out of education at 16 will cost the taxpayer an average of £97,000 during their lifetime. The worst will cost more than £300,000.

What do we do about it?

I sat next to the Duchess at tea

And everyone thought it was me!

I am really scraping the bottom of the barrel today - or should that be the teapot? There isn't much controversial news around.

I remember the above rhyme from my schooldays, but the words "internal" and "infernal" replaced "abdominal" and "phenomenal".

Afternoon tea was introduced in England by Anna, the seventh Duchess of Bedford, in the year 1840.

The Duchess would become hungry around four o'clock in the afternoon. The evening meal in her household was served fashionably late at eight o'clock, thus leaving a long period of time between lunch and dinner.

The Duchess asked that a tray of tea, bread and butter (some time earlier, the Earl of Sandwich had had the idea of putting a filling between two slices of bread) and cake be brought to her room during the late afternoon. This became a habit of hers and she began inviting friends to join her.

This pause for tea became a fashionable social event. During the 1880's upper-class and society women would change into long gowns, gloves and hats for their afternoon tea which was usually served in the drawing room between four and five o'clock.

Traditional afternoon tea consists of a selection of dainty sandwiches (including of course thinly sliced cucumber sandwiches), scones served with clotted cream and preserves. Cakes and pastries are also served. Tea grown in India or Ceylon is poured from silver tea pots into delicate bone china cups.

Nowadays however, in the average suburban home, afternoon tea is likely to be just a biscuit or small cake and a mug of tea, usually produced using a teabag. Sacrilege!

But at least it is a comparatively cheap meal at home. The Ritz in London charges £80 ($160) for "Afternoon Tea For Two".

A team of scientists claims to have turned bone marrow into early-stage sperm cells, leading to the possibility that one day women may be able to manufacture those little swimming things.

This latest latest scientific advance raises the question of whether men will eventually become redundant.

Can you imagine a world without men?

What would it be like?

That is - if you are rich enough.

A high street bank has outraged customers after effectively banning everyone apart from the well-off from using one of its branches.

Only those qualifying for the "Premier service" will be allowed to speak to staff at HSBC in the Canford Cliffs area of Poole, Dorset. That means having either £50,000 in savings, a £200,000 mortgage or a £100,000 mortgage plus a £75,000 salary.

All other account holders have been told they can use the cashpoint and paying-in machines but must travel to another branch if they wish to be served personally.

Anyone not prosperous enough to qualify for Premier status can still join up - at a cost of £19.95 a month.

Customers have been left outraged by the change, which begins in June.

One account holder, who did not want to be named, said: "This is outrageous.

"It is particularly discriminatory against people who are house rich and cash poor. What happens if you are an elderly person living in a £500,000 house with no mortgage and no £75,000 salary?"

An HSBC spokesman said: "Not everybody in the world is equal. Some people have higher incomes and need greater services through the bank. These customers demand a better service.

I would change my bank, wouldn't you?

Sweeter than the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
Covered all over with . . .

A woman who fell from her sixth floor balcony survived after plunging into a pile of "sweet violets".

The woman, from Nanjing in China, toppled over when she stretched too far while hanging out her washing.

Lucky for her, the building's septic tank was being repaired.

A local newspaper reported: "She fell right onto a thick heap of human excrement, which saved her life."

DISRUPTIVE CHILDREN SHOULD BE "GIVEN PRIZES"

Difficult and disruptive pupils should be praised and given prizes to encourage them to behave, Government guidance said yesterday.

A system of rewards - including good news postcards home, special privileges or prizes - is the best way to encourage troublemakers to behave, says the document on keeping order in class.

It urges schools to adopt a more positive approach that it suggests will help improve relations with parents "tired" of receiving letters about children's poor behaviour.

However, perhaps "old-fashioned" school discipline is the answer - and there is some hope

From today teachers also have the statutory right to discipline pupils without having to rely on their status as "in loco parentis", in place of parents.

They will be able to enforce detention at 24-hours' notice after school and on Saturdays and take action against cyber-bullying conducted on home computers. Pupils misbehaving on their way to and from school can be punished and kept in detention.

The guidance says parents will not be able to challenge punishments as long as they are appropriate and fair.

It seems that pensioners in this country are considered a "necessary evil".

The basic state pension has recently increased by £3 ($6) per week.

What could you buy with that?

12 cigarettes? a pint of beer? 3 litres of petrol?

Pensioners feel let down by the present government and many of them are up in arms.

Gordon Brown had better watch out at the next election.

He will find that pensioners are not a silent minority.

The late Peter Cook reduced audiences to helpless mirth with the opening line of his routine as prime minister Harold Macmillan in Beyond the Fringe:

"I have been travelling the world," he began, "on your behalf, and at your expense..."

With the budget of the 2012 London Olympic already three times the original estimate, politicians are sending the costs higher still by embarking on overseas junkets to countries which have previously hosted the event.

The Culture, Media and Sport Committee have visited Beijing, Seoul and Athens.

Visits to the United States and Canada will follow

Corin Taylor, head of research for the TaxPayers' Alliance, said: "This is yet another junket for politicians at taxpayers' expense.

"Many people who supported London 2012 are now becoming increasingly alarmed at soaring costs and sceptical about the benefits the Olympics will bring to ordinary people."

And Olympic chiefs say they are getting frustrated with the constant scrutiny from so many different MPs. They want to be left alone to get on with the job.

We, of course, will pick up the bill for hundreds of thousands of pounds - although perhaps that is just a drop in the ocean as a proportion of the total cost of the Olympics!

On this Easter Sunday, will you be eating lamb? Many people in the UK will.

But why do we do it?

Many believe it is because, at the Last Supper, Jesus ate the traditional Passover menu of roast lamb.

But did he?

Theologians have long argued the point, and now the Pope has made a pronouncement on the subject.

The gospel of St John states that Jesus was crucified on the day of preparation for the Passover. St Mark says that Jesus requested a room to "eat the Passover with my disciples".

The Pope explained that Jesus could have celebrated the meal not according to the lunar calendar, but according to the solar calendar which is outlined in the Dead Sea scrolls.

"He probably ate with his disciples according to the Qumran calendar, which is to say at least a day before, and he would have celebrated it without roast lamb, in the same way as the Essene community at Qumran."

The Pope's explanation was hailed as radical by theologians.

So perhaps you may have Roast Beef next year!

P.S The Essenes were followers of a religious way of living in Judaism that flourished from the 2nd century BC to the 1st century AD.

Clostridium difficile

SUPERBUG KILLS ALMOST AS MANY AS DIE ON ROAD

Deaths from the hospital superbug, Clostridium difficile, are fast approaching the number of road fatalities, says Dr John Starr of the University of Edinburgh.

He states in the British Medical Journal that cases of C difficile rose by 5.5 per cent over a year while MRSA cases fell by 4.3 per cent.

"With more than 2,200 deaths attributed to C difficile in death certificates in England and Wales, the mortality rate is fast approaching that for road traffic accidents."

Dr Starr says that more than 50,000 patients over the age of 65 suffered C difficile infection in hospitals in England last year compared with around 7,000 who caught MRSA.

"Control of C difficile is difficult because, unlike MRSA, alcohol hand scrubs are ineffective and its spores are resistant to routine hospital cleaning."

He says that patients on waiting lists should be screened before they are admitted to see if they are carrying the bacterium.

Clostridium difficile is a bacterium that lives in the gut and causes "hospital diarrhoea". Infection can be mild or very severe and lead to death, particularly in elderly patients.