SPEED CAMERA GUARDED BY SPY CAMERA

“Great fleas have little fleas upon their back to bite ‘em. and little fleas have lesser fleas and so ad infinitum.”

A video camera has been hidden in a road sign to catch vandals who are attacking a speed camera.

The device protects a Gatso speed camera on the A37 at Pylle, near Shepton Mallet, Somerset, which has been attacked repeatedly. It was installed after a torching three weeks ago.

The speed camera is visible, in accordance with Department for Transport guidelines, but the device protecting it has been hidden behind a bright yellow warning sign.

The only hint of its existence is a small peephole.

A spokesman for the Avon and Somerset Safety Camera Partnership, which according to its latest accounts raised £4.4 million in fines in the year ending March 31, 2006, declined to discuss the additional security measures.

"I don't think you print pictures of store detectives," he said. "What you are doing is just helping criminals.

"The camera is there to support the public and the public are getting pretty browned off about the cameras that are getting destroyed."

Mr Gollicker said that a speed camera rebel, the so-called "Captain Gatso", who has boasted of destroying cameras, was active in the area.

"Gatso", who leads a group called Motorists against Detection, was unrepentant.

"It will never put us off – it will soon be trashed again," he said. "People in dark balaclavas, wearing dark clothes, on a dark night – they've got no chance.

Would you like to be remembered after you are dead?

Why not have a 'Serenity' weatherproof TV screen embedded in your tombstone?

Make a video message now, while you are young and pretty - then your friends and family can visit you every day and remember you as you were in your prime, forever!

It is an American idea, of course, but it will soon be available here too - at a price.

This is a blurb from the company's website:

The VIDSTONE Serenity Panel is the first personal memorial monument product of its kind.

While nothing ever replaces the gift of life, memories can now come one step closer to forever being remembered and not forgotten with a Vidstone Serenity Panel.

A school in Buckinghamshire has banned impromptu kick-abouts in the playground because it breaches health and safety regulations.

The head teacher banned the games after a teacher was struck while crossing the playground.

She said: "We have also had a few kids having to see the matron because they have been whacked with a football."

Poor little darlings!

Let's add this to the growing list of banned activities in this over-protective children's world.

The following have been banned in at least one school in Britain:

Making daisy chains (risk of picking up germs)

Playing hopscotch (risk of injury)

Playing organised football (encourages competiveness)

Wearing hair gel (fire risk)

Putting hands up (makes pupils who don't have the answer feel victimised)

Throwing paper aeroplanes (might cause eye injuries)

Girls wearing skirts - must wear trousers (might make them attractive to DOM passing the school)

Wearing a plaster cast (other children might fall over it)

There are many more examples - but you get the idea?

"I have forgotten my password!"

"No Food, No Love, No Birth, No Death . . . .

I suspect we're living in a stupid Screensaver."

US President George W Bush has urged America to give his new Iraq strategy "a chance to work", in his seventh annual State of the Union address.

Failure in Iraq would have "grievous" consequences, Mr Bush told Congress.

How many more chances does he need?

"Our country is pursuing a new strategy in Iraq, and I ask you to give it a chance to work," the president told a joint meeting of the House of Representatives and Senate.

Following the racist remarks of the under-educated 'Jade' in Celebrity Big Brother, we have another 'Big Mouth' - well that is how her mother describes her.

However, this one is Public School ('Private School' in the US) educated.

Lucy Buchanan (18) is a contestant in the third series of the reality show "Shipwrecked', now being aired on Channel 4.

On the show last Saturday she said black people were "really bad", fat people were "disgusting" and she also criticised gays.

She told fellow contestants: "I'm for the British Empire and things. I'm for slavery."

Does anyone watch this rubbish?

What has happened to education in this country?

The Archbishops of Canterbury and York have suggested ways that worshippers can "spread generosity and happiness".

One of these is to leave money in shopping trolleys for someone else to find.

Another suggestion is to go into charity shops and offer more for goods than they are worth.

It is all about an initiative to provide more practical alternatives for Lent than the usual giving up of cigarettes, drink or chocolate.

God Almighty!

Baby Cheeses

An American teacher was conducting a study to test the intelligence of children in the first grade,using a bowl of Lifesavers. (In the UK "Polos" are similar.)

The children began to say:

"Red............. cherry,"

"Yellow......... lemon,"

"Green......... lime,"

"Orange....... orange,"

Finally the teacher gave them all honey-flavoured Lifesavers.

After eating them none of the children could identify the taste.

"Well," the teacher said, "I'll give you all a clue; It's what your mother may sometimes call your father."

One little girl looked up in horror, spat her Lifesaver out and yelled:

"Oh My God!!!! They're assholes!

Go ahead - I'm keeping watch

Only kidding!

(But you never know)

Yesterday I commented on the intrusion on our privacy by the United States and their proposal to share personal information on UK citizens with more government agencies.

I little thought it would happen here - but it is about to.

Tony Blair has announced plans to make it easier for departments to share information and he is being accused of setting up a database on every UK citizen "from the cradle to the grave".

Opposition parties and civil liberties groups have warned that any shared database across Whitehall and local government would be "ripe for corruption and fraud" and would breach people's privacy.

Sir Menzies Campbell, the Liberal Democrat leader, said Britain now has the "most intrusive Government in our history" and urged a halt.

He said the Government had already created a "database state" through the use of "potentially intrusive and sinister" computers.

Mr Blair's response to the criticism was typical. He said:"This is about sharing data in a sensible way so the customer gets a better service."

I don't think I like being called a "customer" by this government.

Mr Blair unveiling his plans at Downing Street yesterday

Last October the United States negotiated a deal to allow them to access 34 pieces of personal information in respect of every passenger arriving at American airports.

When I say "negotiated", I mean that they threatened that aircraft would be turned back if such information was not provided within 15 minutes of take off from the country of departure.

American authorities ask airlines for data including passengers' names, birthdays, addresses, sex, phone numbers, e-mail addresses, credit card details, frequent flyer numbers, seat assignments, passport numbers, countries of issue and nationalities.

Now the United States wants to extend the use of this information and make it available to more government agencies.

Naturally this has provoked protests from around the world and a challenge is being mounted in the European parliament.

Do you support the protestors?

A mummy from the Chachapoyas culture is displayed in the Museum of The Nation in Lima, Peru.

Nothing's impossible, I have found
For when my chin is on the ground.
I pick myself up,
Dust myself off
And start all over again.

Don't lose your confidence
If you slip
Be grateful for a pleasant trip
And pick yourself up,
Dust yourself off
And start all over again.

Work like a soul inspired
Until the battle of the day is won.
You may be sick and tired,
But you'll be a man, my son.

Will you remember the famous men
Who had to fall to rise again
They picked themselves up
Dust themselves off
And started all over again.

(Jerome Kern, Dorothy Fields)

President George W Bush was seen crying in public at a Congressional Medal of Honor ceremony yesterday.

A tear rolled down Mr Bush's cheek as he honoured 22-year-old Marine Jason Dunham, killed two years ago when he fell on a hand grenade in Iraq to save his comrades.

Do you think less of Mr Bush for crying at the event? Would it have been more fitting for the president to have kept a stiff upper lip?

Was it self indulgent for him to weep, particularly given his role in the war? Do you, perhaps, even think it was a cynical move on the president's part to be seen crying?

Do you respect Mr Bush more after his public display of emotion?

Or should he show more self-control - like our Queen?

(abridged from a 'Daily Telegraph' article)

There were two announcements yesterday:

(1) The new iPhone from Apple - combining MP3 player, telephone, camera and computer.

(2) The birth of a cloned calf, "Dundee Paradise", at a Shropshire farm.

This cartoon wittily comments on both.

N.B. "Dundee Paradise" is the daughter of a clone, Vandyk K Integ Paradise 2, created in the US by the company Cyagra Clone using cells from a champion dairy Holstein, Vandyk K Integ Paradise.

The British farm bought five embryos from America to be implanted into its Holsteins. The others are expected to be born in the next few weeks.

A five-year study by the US Food and Drug Administration concluded last month that "meat and milk from clones and their offspring are as safe as food we eat every day".

Those in favour of cloning say that an animal clone is a genetic copy. It is not the same as genetic engineering, which involves altering, adding or deleting DNA.

Supporters believe that the technology is fundamental to the success of the farming industry, enabling farmers to replicate elite livestock.

What do you think? Is it safe? Does it make sense?

PUPILS TO GET HOME INTERNET ACCESS

Government Ministers say pupils need internet access at home as well as school.

A taskforce is being set up to ensure all children have access to the internet outside of school.

The government says more than 800,000 children and young people in England are currently not online at home and wants to close the "digital divide".

The home access taskforce, will look at how government, the IT industry and education charities can work together.

Of coure, Big Business has an interest.

The announcement of a taskforce follows an initial internal study last autumn by Intel, Dell and other computer manufacturers, which concluded that universal access could be made possible through partnership between government, private and voluntary sectors.

Computers are fine, if used sensibly - but would Goverment money be better spent getting kids out of their bedooms, not encouraging them to stay there?

Mark Colling has sailed into the record books after building a replica of Titanic using 3.5 million matchsticks. He spent 17 months on the 19ft, 1:100 model which weighs almost a ton. He even included the iceberg that sank the vessel on its maiden voyage in 1912, and last month The Guinness Book of Records awarded him a plaque for the largest matchstick model. "I was over the moon," said Mr Colling, 33, from Llanelli, south Wales. "I phoned to see what the record was and they said 'three million matches'." He hopes the model will go on display in Belfast where Titanic was built.

Here is some detail:

Are you watching "Celebrity Big Brother" on TV?

Go on - admit it, you are, aren't you?

I watched the first day, when they went into the house - and I have glimpsed brief bits since.

But its is pathetic rubbish isn't it?

Wow! That Jade Goody.

Here are some quotes attributed to her:

* "Where is East Angular, is it abroad?"

It is only an "administrative error", but it should never have happened.

The US Army is to apologise to the families of officers killed or wounded in action who were sent letters urging them to return to active duty.

The letters were sent to more than 5,100 Army officers listed as recently having left the military.

But this figure included about 75 officers killed in action and about 200 wounded in action.

"Army personnel officials are contacting those officers' families now to personally apologise for erroneously sending the letters," the army said in a statement.

With billions being spent on the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and on costly procurement programmes, the Ministry of Defence is proposing to retire a further six frigates and destroyers to bring budgets into line.

The fleet will lose almost half its warships with 19 out of 44 laid up in port.

In addition all promotions to the rank of Lieutenant Commander or above will be halted until 2012.

No, it doesn't really involve the above.

It is more like this:

"Le Camembert" is a rude way that Parisians tell someone to shut their mouth, according to the French Tourist Office.

You hold your hand in front of you in the shape of an L, and then slowly bring thumbs and forefingers together, as if gently clasping a small slice of soft cheese. A blank face — signifying vast indifference — completes this traditional French pose.

Just as offensive is Les Boules, or The Balls. "It's a vulgar way of saying that you're unlucky, you're upset or you can't take any more." said th spokesman.

Perhaps we shouldn't go into that!

Then there is "Répète", which involves cupping your hand over your ear, so feigning deafness. You should also scowl at the same time to express displeasure."

A guide issued to foreigners in the French capital says: "You don't need to be French to understand Parisians. Use the gestures the next time you're in Paris. People will start mistaking you for a native in no time."

Millions of commuters IN THE UK were hit by huge increases in rail fares yesterday as they returned to work after the holiday.

Passengers found that many ticket prices had gone up by more than seven per cent, over twice the rate of inflation.

In some areas the increases are even more severe. A cheap day return on the South West Trains service from Kingston upon Thames to London Waterloo rose from £4.20 ($8.20)to £5.70 ($11.00) yesterday — an increase of 36 per cent.

The London Underground also saw sharp increases with a single ticket for a one-station journey in the city centre now costing £4 ($7.80)

Fares in Britain are now three times higher than the rest of Europe, the the railway union has claimed.

What do we do? Use our cars?

But then there is the "Congestion Charge" - at present £8 (almost $16) per day to enter London and bound to increase.