Matt

Nobody to watch over me.

A BBC report today states that hospital nurses are 'too busy to monitor food'

Nine out of 10 nurses say they do not always have time to help ensure hospital patients eat properly.

The charity Age Concern believes this could be one reason why six out of 10 older patients are at risk of becoming malnourished while in hospital.

The charity said the NHS was continuing to fail patients despite guidelines which make feeding a core priority.

Malnourished patients stay in hospital for much longer, are three times as likely to develop complications during surgery, and have a higher mortality rate.

It is a problem which particularly affects the elderly: patients over 80 admitted to hospital have a five times higher prevalence of malnutrition than those under the age of 50.

In 2004 the Department of Health issued core standards for the NHS which commit trusts to providing patients with a balanced and nutritional diet.

However, Age Concern said despite this malnutrition in hospitals continues to be "all too prevalent" - because too often policy is not being put into practice.

Once again, it is a question of resources, isn't it? Both time and money.

Can also be used on Apple laptops

The Princess of Wales was "primitively sacrificed" at her "ghastly and barbaric" wedding to Prince Charles, according to the director of a controversial new film about her death.

Stephen Frears, the director of "The Queen", which stars Dame Helen Mirren in the title role, has described the royal wedding of July 1981 as a "black, black day" which was destined to end in tragedy.

"I remember watching the royal wedding and thinking this is a very barbaric occasion we are witnessing. I thought it was a ghastly black, black day.

"It seemed clear to me what was going on. The girl was being sacrificed in a very, very primitive way. We couldn't have known what would happen to her, but I wasn't surprised when the fairytale didn't work out."

History will tell!

Yes, it's official: love at first sight does exist. It can happen in a blink of an eye.

Researchers at Princeton University in New Jersey found it takes a tenth of a second to decide whether someone is attractive.

People respond so rapidly that their mind has no no time to influence the reaction.

So "Here's looking at you, Kid"

Would you like to have a stripper at your funeral to attract more mourners?

Five people have been detained in China for running striptease send-offs at funerals, state media say.

The once-common events are held to boost the number of mourners, as large crowds are seen as a mark of honour.

But the arrests, in the eastern province of Jiangsu, could signal the end of the rural tradition.

Local officials have since ordered a halt to "obscene performances" and say funeral plans have to be submitted in advance, Xinhua news agency said.

The arrests, in Donghai county, followed striptease acts at a farmer's funeral, the agency said. Two hundred people were said to have attended the event, which was held on 16 August.

The Beijing News said the event was later revealed by a Chinese TV station. The leaders of five striptease troupes were held, it said, including two involved in the farmer's funeral.

"Striptease used to be a common practice at funerals in Donghai's rural areas to allure viewers," Xinhua agency said. "Local villagers believe that the more people who attend the funeral, the more the dead person is honoured."

As well as ordering an end to the practice, officials have also said residents can report "funeral misdeeds" on a hotline, earning a reward for information.

A leading supporter of the Iraq war has accused President George W Bush of trying to hoodwink Americans into believing the campaign would be "a day at the beach".

Senator John McCain, a Republican who is expected to run for the presidency in two years' time, focused his anger on statements from Mr Bush, Donald Rumsfeld, the defence secretary, and the vice-president, Dick Cheney, since the overthrow of Saddam Hussein three years ago.

Americans, he said, "were led to believe this could be some kind of day at the beach, which many of us fully understood from the beginning would be a very, very difficult undertaking."

Mr McCain then listed the most controversial sound-bites offered by the men in charge of the Iraq campaign since then: 'Stuff happens', 'mission accomplished', 'last throes', 'a few dead-enders'.

"I'm just more familiar with those statements than anyone else because it grieves me so much that we had not told the American people how tough and difficult this task would be," he said.

The war in Iraq has killed 2,613 American and 115 British troops, as well as more than 30,000 Iraqis. The lowest estimates suggest that the Iraq and Afghanistan campaigns have cost American taxpayers at least $400 billion (£210 billion) but some experts say the real figure could be close to $1 trillion (£528 billion).

However, although some Democrats have called for an early exit, most Americans seem to accept Mr Bush's argument that withdrawal would worsen the situation and make Iraq a haven for terrorist groups.

Continuing my theme of education, or rather lack of it, the Times reports today that Cambridge University will not accept applicants who have opted for 'soft' options in their A-level studies.

It has listed a string of subjects on its website that it considers "less effective" preparation for entry.

It includes media studies, health and social care, performing arts, accounting and business studies.

The move by Cambridge is seen as part of a backlash against the growing popularity of such subjects and A-level students are being advised to stick to "traditional" subjects if they want to be a "realistic applicant" for its courses.

Employers say too many school leavers lack basic skills and accuse the Government and schools of letting young people down by failing to teach them basic maths and English.

In a report published yesterday, one in three businesses says it is forced to provide remedial training for employees, even those with good GCSE results.

The Confederation of British Industry complains that multiple choice exam questions allow candidates who cannot even construct a sentence to get high marks.

The report on basic skills in the workforce, commissioned by the Department for Education, accuses schools of "mollycoddling" pupils, who then find it difficult to take responsibility for themselves once they reach the workplace. Too many turn up late, look scruffy and communicate in grunts, it says.

Richard Lambert, the director general of the CBI, said the fact that one in three employers ran remedial courses in the last year was "a sad indictment of how the education system has let young people down".

He added: "The UK simply can't match the low labour costs of China and India. We have to compete on the basis of quality, and that means improving our skills base, starting with the very basics.

"Employers' views on numeracy and literacy are crystal clear: people need to be able to read and write fluently and to carry out basic mental arithmetic. Far too many school leavers struggle with these essential life skills," he said.

A survey found writing and mental arithmetic to be the main areas of concern. "In virtually every organisation contacted, senior managers reported that many employees find it difficult or impossible to produce written work," says the report..

Senior managers said many employees could not understand multiplication, fractions or percentages or use formulae.

What is the length of your annual holiday?

Americans, who are already the hardest workers in the Western world, are taking fewer holidays than they have done for almost 30 years.

In a country where most employees only get two weeks off a year plus 10 public holidays, many people are now so ambitious or so terrified of losing their jobs that they have to be forced to take their meagre allowance.

A report shows that 40 per cent of American workers are taking no summer holiday at all this year, the lowest percentage recorded for 28 years.

About a quarter of US workers in the private sector do not get any paid holiday and the longest summer trip for the average American lasts only six nights.

Contrast this to Europe, where the Italians take an average of 42 days, the French 37 days and the Germans 35 days.

The average in Britain is 28 days (including Bank Holidays).

One major advocate of holiday time is Pope Benedict XVI who, in his Sunday address, quoted from the writings of St Bernard of Chiaravalle - "We have to guard ourselves, the saint observed, from the dangers of excessive activity, regardless of the office one holds, because too many concerns can often lead to hardness of heart," the Pope said.

An airport "Meet And Greet" parking company which promises "extra peace of mind" to travellers leaving their cars while they fly off on holiday is simply driving them away and dumping them in the road.

Airport parking in Britain is a booming business - and the conmen have not been slow to catch on.

"Pink Meet And Greet" states on its website that customers are guaranteed parking in a secure compound near Gatwick airport with round-the-clock security patrols, CCTV and high fences.

But cars worth tens of thousands of pounds are often left in the street, on industrial estates and even in fields.

Watchdogs believe that dozens of other rogue companies are operating the same scam all over Britain.

So be careful who you trust with your valuable vehicle while you are on holiday.

The headline screams "Watchdog warns of postal chaos on Monday"

But I think not.

The change in the way that price is mailed - based on size rather than weight - seems quite simple and I am sure we shall get used to it very quickly.

We have all had that handy size guide pushed through our letter boxes.

But it will cost you!

The price of an average first class letter will be 32p. However, if its length exceeds 240mm, its width 165mm or its thickness 5mm, it will be considered to be a large letter. Letters of that size will cost 44p to post if they weigh less than 100 grammes.

Anything over 353mm long or 250mm wide or over 25mm thick will be considered to be a packet and will cost between £1 and £4.74, depending on how much it weighs.

The new large letter stamps will be on sale in the same outlets as ordinary first and second class stamps.

Sixth formers starting university this year expect to pay £33,512 for a three-year degree course, a rise of almost £5,000 on last year's projected figure, a survey says today.

A large part of the rise was attributed to the increase in tuition fees of up to £3,000 a year from next month.

The survey by NatWest Student Money Matters found that students expected to graduate in 2009 with £14,779 of debt, an increase of £1,099 on last year's projected figure for 2008.

More than 200,000 people were caught watching television without a valid licence in the first half of 2006, the TV Licensing agency reports.

A colour TV licence currently costs £131.50 and a black and white licence £44.

Around 25 million people currently hold a valid licence. Using a television without an appropriate licence is a criminal offence. Those who do not buy one but watch television face a £1,000 fine.

But what do we get for our money?

The BBC tells us:

The television channels BBC ONE, BBC TWO, BBC THREE, BBC FOUR, BBC News 24, BBC Parliament, CBBC and CBeebies;

Five network radio services, plus the BBC Asian Network, and digital radio services 1Xtra, BBC 7, 6 Music, and Five Live Sports Extra;

Regional television programmes and Local Radio services in England;

National radio and television in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland;

BBCi and bbc.co.uk.

However, is it fair that all our licence fee goes to the BBC?

It is in fact a TV Ownership Tax and cannot be avoided, even if you do not watch BBC programmes. For Americans, the whole idea of an annual tax to own a television borders on the absurd.

Footnote:

One of Britain's most prolific credit card debtors owes a total of £416,000, it was disclosed yesterday.

The unnamed 56-year-old, has 57 credit cards.

We all seem to be owing more.

The UK Consumer Credit Counselling Service has said that the average credit card debt of their clients is now £12,422 - an increase of 50 per cent in three years.

However, the amount is much higher for older people. More than a million pensioners have an average debt of £15,500, and as many as 70,000 in retirement have debts of between £50,000 and £75,000.

It is worse than student debt!

"Yes, darling - I AM rather proud of it, although it is a little small"

Prince Charles and Camilla at Mey Highland Games in Caithness, Scotland

Naked volunteers pose for photographer Spencer Tunick at the Museum Kunst Palast in Düsseldorf

That was last weekend.

I well remember the Tunick "Installation" at Selfridges in London in 2003

There are more Tunick images at:

http://www.i-20.com/artist.php?artist_id=19&page=images

The Newcatle/Gateshead installation last year is impressive.

Powerful evangelical churches are pressing Kenya's national museum to sideline its world-famous collection of hominid bones pointing to man's evolution from ape to human.

Leaders of the country's six-million-strong Pentecostal congregation want Dr Richard Leakey's ground-breaking finds relegated to a back room instead of being given their usual prime billing in a museum near Nairobi.

The collection includes the most complete skeleton yet found of Homo erectus, the 1.7 million-year-old Turkana Boy unearthed by Dr Leakey's team in 1984 at Nariokotome, near Lake Turkana in northern Kenya.

The museum also holds bones from several specimens of Australopithecus anamensis, believed to be the first hominid to walk upright, four million years ago. Together the artefacts amount to the clearest record yet discovered of the origins of Homo sapiens.

They have cemented the global reputation of Kenya's Great Rift Valley as the cradle of mankind, and draw in tourists and locals to the museum's sprawling compound on a hill above Nairobi.

The Curch has said: "Our doctrine is not that we evolved from apes, and we have grave concerns that the museum wants to enhance the prominence of something presented as fact which is just one theory."

Dr Leakey said the churches' plans were "the most outrageous comments I have ever heard".

Calling the Pentecostal church fundamentalists, Dr Leakey added: "Their theories are far, far from the mainstream on this. They cannot be allowed to meddle with what is the world's leading collection of these types of fossils."

(Adapted from a Daily Telegraph article)

A driver is facing jail after he tried to avoid a £60 speeding fine and penalty points by destroying a speed camera with an incendiary device.

But the attempt by Craig Moore, 28, to destroy the evidence failed because the £11,700 camera photographed his van seconds before he launched his attack.

It recorded the vehicle and its registration number on film in an undamaged part of the machine - along with the original picture of the speeding offence.

Moore was remanded on conditional bail until Sept 6 when he will be sentenced. He faces a maximum sentence of 10 years in jail.

A survey yesterday found that 16 per cent of people support the illegal destruction of speed cameras by "vigilante" gangs.

Have you ever made that mistake and offered your seat to someone who was just obese?

What was their reaction?

And there is the other side of the coin - many pregnant women do not appear to be so, but they would still like to sit down.

Now the Japanese have made it easier!

Rail companies in Tokyo are handing out badges to pregnant women in the hope they prompt commuters to give up their seats on the capital's crowded trains.

The badges come in pink and blue and have the words "There is a baby in my stomach" printed on them.

A prize for the first person to see one worn by a man!

Have you heard the one about Joan of Arc and a canoe?

"Question: What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe?

Answer: One is Maid of Orleans and the other is made of wood."

Apparently that joke was very popular in Victorian times.

It is taken from a recently discovered joke book that belonged to a clown.

I don't know about you, but I think that clowns are more of a visual act and they would be well advised to keep their mouths shut.

Good advice to politicians too, many of whom are also clowns!

An Irish call centre has recently advertised for staff - saying "smokers need not apply'.

It has been seen by some smokers as discrimination, but employers can legally refuse to give a job to smokers because they are not covered by anti-discrimination laws,.

The European Commission confirmed that the wave of anti-discrimination legislation it has passed during the past six years does not cover smokers.

A director of the company that placed the advertisement, said: "If people are smoking on a coffee break or in their own time, they come back into the office and they stink."

"We have a very small office here and it would make things unbearable for the other staff. To be honest, if these people can ignore so many warnings and all that evidence, then they haven't got the level of intelligence that I am looking for. Smoking is idiotic."

A spokesman for the Department of Trade & Industry confirmed that smokers in Britain were not protected by anti-discrimination laws.

She said: "In terms of discrimination legislation, it covers sex, race, religion and sexuality so smokers as a group aren't protected by any British laws."

The rules only apply to advertising for jobs - they do not mean that someone can be sacked simply for being a smoker, unless they smoke in contravention of workplace rules.

This year the World Health Organisation announced it will not hire smokers to work at its Geneva headquarters.

From the summer of 2007 it won't matter here anyway, because there will be a total ban on smoking in pubs, clubs and workplaces throughout England and Wales.

According to the Government, as many as 650,000 Britons could quit as a result of the ban.

Smoking will still be allowed in members' clubs and those pubs which do not serve food.

Have you given up smoking?

Or are you still addicted?

Watch out!

If the dreaded MRSA doesn't get you - the nurses may.

A third of nurses expecting to graduate next month have failed a basic English and maths test set by a hospital as part of a new selection process.

As nurses must be able to calculate drug doses and keep accurate notes, this high failure rate has alarmed the hospital and the Nursing and Midwifery Council.

Thirteen of 40 nurses completing training at Canterbury Christ Church University -the first to take the 20-minute test - failed to achieve the 60 per cent pass rate.

One question is: if a night shift starts at 8pm, is it the same as 18.00, 19.00, 20.00 or 21.00 hours?

Another asks: how many minutes are there in half an hour?

The nurses are understood to be products of the British schools system.

Enough said!

I was walking past a shop yesterday evening and noticed a sign on the door - "Closed till further notice".

It jarred with me as I would have worded it - "Closed until further notice".

To me, "Till" means a cash register, or it is a verb meaning to cultivate the soil.

If I wanted to abbreviate "until" I would probably write "'til". But then, I am a pedantic old so and so.

And, I am wrong!

My modern dictionary informs me that "till" is a perfectly acceptable alternative to "until".

What is more, "till" is the older word, and it was used several hundred years before "until".

I live and learn and stand/sit corrected!

Answer: Probably money!

RUDE BOY

"Up your jaxie, split your kecks, sing a song of Semtex, pocket full of Durex."

That is a line from a track on Robbie Williams' soon to be released new album "Rudebox".

And rude it definitely is.

It is a record so bizarre, it is hard to decide whether its a work of wonky genius or a bad joke.

That, in fact, may be its charm.

The Sun, never a paper given to understatement, has declared it the worst record ever made, but Robbie himself is so pleased he has announced that, after some 15 years in the music business, he has finally found his true musical identity!

The Daily telegraph comments "At times, it has seemed Robbie Williams can't make up his mind whether he wants to be Liam Gallagher or Frank Sinatra, but this is the eccentric sound of a man with a new-found confidence in his own talent."

Will you buy it?

Three doctors are being investigated by Indian medical authorities for offering to amputate beggars' healthy limbs so that they attract more money.

They were secretly filmed apparently offering to remove a leg for £120 and were said to be colluding with the crime gangs that control begging in cities.

One doctor, from a government hospital in Delhi, offered to induce gangrene by restricting the flow of blood so that amputation became vital.

After the broadcast an angry crowd gathered outside the doctors' homes demanding their arrest but they had already disappeared.