Yes, but will you get one this Autumn?

Up to fifteen million patients may be forced to wait for vital winter flu jabs this year, health chiefs have admitted.

The Department of Health said manufacturing problems would lead to delays and a possible shortage. It warned doctors to prepare by identifying those patients most at risk.

GPs have been told to target people aged 65 and over, and those aged six months and over suffering from a number of medical conditions, including chronic heart and respiratory conditions.

The Government is also reducing the number of carers who are eligible for free flu jabs on the NHS.

(From a Daily Mail article)

And here is advice from a reader:

"The best action that people can take is to ensure that they eat healthily, lots of organic fruit and veg, exercise, and forget about having the flu-jab. If they have a fever don't suppress it with painkillers but sweat it out as this is natures way of ridding the body of toxins and they will fight off the illness quicker. If really concerned then there are very good Homeopathic remedies widely available to help with flu."

- Ruth Acaster, Worthing, Sussex

But I don't think anyone should reject the flu jab if it is available to them.

What do you say?

I have noticed recently that more and more people are pronouncing the word "tournament" as "turn-a-ment".

Richard Madeley did it yesterday on "Richard and Judy" and I have heard it pronounced that way several times from Wimbledon.

Maybe it is an Americanism, or perhaps me mis-hearing.

It is like "Countdown" on TV - I often think contestants are asking for "a continent please Carol".

Should magazines like the above be banished to the top shelf?

A Labour MP has waged war on ‘lad’s magazines’, arguing that brash titles such as Zoo and FHM should be banished to the top shelf in newsagents.

Claire Curtis, MP for Crosby in Merseyside, has branded such magazines repulsive and argued that front page pictures of near-naked female flesh should not be displayed at childrens’ eye level.

What do you think of the ‘lad’s mag’ publishing phenomenon? Are these magazines degrading to women, or just an irreverent bit of fun?

Which do you think is more damaging: women’s magazines that use extremely thin models, or lads’ magazines that feature curvier girls in provocative poses?

(From a Daily Telegraph article)

Dung sale to save elephants

A consignment of elephant dung large enough to fertilise the average suburban garden for a year will be auctioned tonight at a gathering of Britain's Asian business elite attended by the Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall.

The dung is expected to raise between £5,000 and £10,000 at a charity "durbar" being held in Richmond, west London, in aid of the Indian elephant. Prince Charles will be guest of honour at the event, which will be attended by the steel billionaire Lakshmi Mittal and the millionaire king of the ready-made curry, Sir Gulam Noon.

Ruth Powys, the spokesman for the charity Elephant Family, said she was unsure of the exact quantity of dung involved, but it was sufficient to fill a decent-sized tractor trailer. "We hope it will raise up to £10,000 but it could go higher," she said.

Henry Wyndham, the chairman of Sotheby's, will preside over the sale of the dung, which has been provided by three Indian elephants belonging to Lord Robin Russell, who is a trustee of the charity

During the past century the number of Indian elephants has plummeted from 225,000 to only 35,000, with 66 per cent of the losses occurring in the last 25 years.

("Daily Telegraph")

From an advertisement in a local magazine:

"PRIVATE SWIMMING LESSONS
IN THE COMFORT OF YOUR OWN HOME
(swimming pool is essential)"

That reminds me of the radio advertisement for The 20/20 Optical Store that I mentioned here a few weeks ago:

"Have your eyes tested while you wait"

The English football fans are at it again.

Here are pictures from Stuttgart yesterday, in advance of England's match against Ecuador today.

Does't it make you feel proud to be English!

Glug, glug - a billion bottles of wine going to waste.

A fine vintage of disinfectant is Brussels' answer to massive EU surplus.

And it is all our fault!

"The unquenchable desire of Britons for New World wines has forced Brussels to order nearly a billion bottles of French and Italian wine to be turned into fuel and disinfectant."

The European Commission will then spend €2.4 billion (£1.65 billion) digging up vineyards across the continent - and we pay for it!

The drastic measures to drain Europe’s swelling wine lake come as winemakers across the Continent face a seemingly unstoppable invasion of cheaper and more consistent wines from Australia, Chile, the US and South Africa.

Wine critics say it is an inevitable result of French wine producers not adapting to demand.

(With acknowledgement to The Times and Matt)

"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more . . .

Young American men are terrified that their country is about to reintroduce the Draft for the first time since the end of the Vietnam War.

Yesterday the U.S. military raised its maximum age for recruitment to 42, a clear sign of its increasing manpower shortages.

It is the second increase in the age of recruitment this year - the first rise in January was from 35 to 40.

Fears about the return of conscription have grown because of rising casualties in Afghanistan and Iraq and no sign that the U.S. military's huge commitment to the two countries is about to reduced.

In addition, the casualty figures and scandals about massacres and mistreatment of prisoners has made a career in the military less and less attractive to potential volunteers.

The influential San Francisco Chronicle recently reported: 'Draft jitters are rampant among high school and college age males.

'The uncertain state of the world suggests that one false step could draw the United States into a new war and a new need for boots on the ground.

'Army recruitment is failing to keep pace with the demand for new soldiers to fight in Iraq and Afghanistan.'

(Daily Mail)

Is this going too far?

Four centuries ago, Andrew Hawkins' forefather achieved notoriety as England's first slave trader.

Thousands of kidnapped men, women and children were sold like cattle - if they survived being packed onto ships so tightly that they could not lie down.

The 37-year-old youth theatre worker is a descendant of Sir John Hawkins, an Elizabethan sea captain who began centuries of British involvement in the slave trade.

Now Andrew Hawkins has made a dramatic gesture to atone for his ancestor's actions - kneeling in chains in front of thousands of Africans to apologise on behalf of his family.

The father-of-two joined a group of Europeans who took part in a procession while bound in chains before kneeling and offering their apology.

"I apologised on behalf of my family," he said yesterday. "I apologised for the adults and children taken."

(From a Daily Mail article)

People in Aberystwyth had an unexpected windfall when a man showered what is thought to be thousands of pounds into the air at a pedestrian crossing.

The man was heard to shout: "Who wants free money?" seconds before hurling the cash into the air in Alexandra Road.

The incident caused chaos as drivers and pedestrians, some on their hands and knees, picked up the money.

John Morris saw what happened from outside his shop in nearby Terrace Road on Monday at about 1100 BST.

"I just couldn't believe my eyes," said Mr Morris. "All the money was in £20 notes and I've heard rumours that the man threw about £20,000 away.

"It was like something out of the the movies. It caused bedlam - people were on their hands and knees eagerly picking the money up.

"I heard that one person picked up about £800, and another banked about £150 this morning so it wasn't fake money."

Dyfed-Powys Police confirmed a man from Aberystwyth had thrown a sum of money in the air on Alexandra Road before driving away.

The police added that some of the cash had been retrieved, and added that a man was later arrested in Aberaeron for driving offences.

(BBC News)

In a stark reversal of time-worn stereotypes, London has sunk to 18th place in a worldwide league table of polite cities, while New York scooped first place.

Do you think Britain is still basically a polite nation? Or should the stereotype of the courteous, softly-spoken English gentleman be consigned to the historical dustbin?

Where is the most polite place you have ever visited, and where the least?

Should this be covered up at work?

Rebecca Holdcroft does not think so. She likes to "express" herself through body art and feels that she is being discriminated against when asked to wear a cardigan at work.

"I don't deal with the public, but I have to cover up in the office. I think it's kind of ridiculous," she said.

She says her tattoos are not sexually explicit, neither are they racist.

In total she has 18, including one behind each ear, two "sleeves" covering each arm, and a pair of wings with a heart on her chest.

She says some tattoos were visible at her job interview, but it was not until her second day in the office that she was told they looked "unprofessional" and she should cover up.

"If I am sitting I can take my cardigan off, but if I am walking around the office I have to put it back on," she said.

I suppose it could be worse.

She could have a colleague dressed like this:

The drought deepens

"POWERGEN TO CLOSE INDIAN CALL CENTRES"

That was the headline in yesterday's newspaper.

Following complaints from customers, the energy company is to close all its call centres in India.

From now on, all customer calls will be answered in Britain, creating almost 1,000 jobs.

Powergen started using Indian call centres almost five years ago, but yesterday it said that consumer satisfaction was more important than cutting costs.

"Offshore call centres may have their place for certain industries. However, we believe that we can best achieve industry-leading customer service by operating solely in the UK," said Nick Horler, the managing director.

"Although the cost of overseas outsourcing can be low, we're simply not prepared to achieve savings at the risk or expense of customer satisfaction."

Will the banks and other organisations now follow suit?

Queen Mary 2, the flagship of the Cunard fleet, has been chartered to make the first transatlantic cruise just for homosexuals.

The liner will carry 2,600 men and women on a six-day crossing from New York to Southampton.

The cruise was booked in America to show support for Britain's decision to allow civil partnerships for homosexual couples.

Cunard refused to comment on the charter of its liner, named by the Queen two years ago and, until recently, the largest liner afloat.

The cruise, next May, has been booked by RSVP Vacations, which caters for homosexual men and women.

The company's brochure says: "You can be yourself. A simple gesture, such as holding your partner's hand, does not become a big event."

The company has booked all 1,310 cabins, with prices starting at £900 for a standard cabin.

Jeff Soukup, the executive vice-president and chief operating officer of PlanetOut Inc, the parent company of RSVP, said: "The QM2 charter provides an opportunity for gay men and lesbians to experience luxury in an environment where they can feel completely safe.

("Daily Telegraph")

Men will be told by the Government "not to have affairs" while their wives are pregnant in a taxpayer-funded information pack on how to be better fathers.

The 'Dad Pack', launched at a cost of £50,000, is illustrated with cartoons and proffers advice to fathers-to-be such as "Bite your lip, not your partner, when she is ratty".

"Your partner may be too knackered for sex"

Do we need to be told this?

The pack suggests euphemistically that men will tire of "taking themselves in hand" when their wives are too weary for sex, but they need to give their wives the "feel-good factor".

"We're talking massaging her, hot baths together - but no sex, no pressure (if that makes you horny, sort yourself out beforehand)," it says. "Don't have an affair."

Well! Well!

Sir - I am afraid "unsexing" is gaining ground. Earlier this year, at a well-known restaurant in South Africa, I saw on the menu the words "If you want something not on the menu, please consult your waitron". When I asked the manager what this meant, she told me that the term was used to ensure that no sexism was involved. I'm glad that I'm old.

Anthony Luke, Ashmansworth, Berks

(Letter to the Daily Telegraph)

Here is previous correspondence on the same subject:

THE UNSEXING OF ACTRESSES AND HEROINES

Sir - I dislike mis-gendered job titles. My boss calls herself a "manager" and I often wonder if she has some vague notion that a "manageress" is found only in a shop or hotel.

Geoff Wright, Doncaster, S Yorks

Sir - Can someone please tell me why actresses are now, more often than not, termed "actors", and why many leading actresses go along with this nonsense?

The word "actress" merely informs the reader of a theatrical review that the Sam Bloggs they are reading about is Samantha, not Samuel. The word is in no way demeaning to women, and using the term "actor" just adds to the confusion.

I always thought that language was a tool of the trade of the acting profession.

Patricia Calder, London SE21

Sir - In querying the use of the word "actor" to cover both actors and actresses, Patricia Calder has drawn attention to the gradual abandonment by many English-speakers of gender differentiation in nouns. Hence only "heroes" and no "heroines".

How long will it be before there are only "stewards" and no "stewardesses", only "hosts" and no "hostesses"? Where is the advantage of the increasing gender neutralisation of nouns, which would appear to impoverish the English language?

Peter Wareham, Coventry


Sir - Female "actors" do not seem to mind the use of the feminine when in line for "Best Actress" in the Oscars.

Keith Chadbourn, Sherbourne, Dorset

Well, I know what they mean - but it still sounds a bit odd.

How would you say it?

Following my recent blog about schoolchildren being allowed to listen to their iPods during class (one ear only),I now learn that, in future, some GCSE exams will not require them to write anything - except their names.

I hope they will be able to do that!

The new science test, which is being introduced this year, will contain six papers, each lasting 30 minutes and consisting solely of multiple choice questions.

Candidates will either join four words to an appropriate picture or tick one of four answers labelled A, B, C and D. They will have three opportunities a year to take the tests and there will be no limit on how often they can resit them to improve their marks.

The new format has angered scientists, who accuse the two examination boards of reducing the core subject to a string of facts that will have a disastrous effect on teaching.

Note: Jonathan Osborne, Professor of Science Education at King's College London, said: "They are doing this to save money because computers can mark the papers."

A proliferation of patriotism.

The flags are now everywhere. This is the high street of the small village of Claygate and there are probably almost 100 flags fluttering in the breeze.

But keep your fingers crossed until after the first England game today.

You could go to watch it at my local pub - and 'breath' the World Cup!

(I don't expect they are aware of their spelling mistake.)

And, while you are there, you can have a "Steak and Cajun Combo" or a "Large All Day Breakfast" - each priced at only £3.95 (USD $7.28)

Good value?

EU DESTROYS A BILLION BOTTLES OF WINE

The European Union has called for almost a billion bottles of French and Italian wine to be destroyed to drain the rising "wine lake".

The EU will also spend £1.66 billion digging up vineyards to try to force winemakers to consolidate against competition from the "New World".

Wine experts said the EU's move was "inevitable" given the poor quality of many French and Italian vintages.

Of course, French winemakers have protested against the the move, demanding that EU taxpayers buy more than a billion bottles of their produce instead!

I am afraid that the French have had it their own way for far too long.

Myself, I like a good Chilean Cabernet Sauvignon!

How about you?

A UK school is allowing its pupils to use their iPods during lessons.

"It encourages concentration" says one of the teachers - "but I tell them only to use one earpiece, so that they can hear me when I speak to them"!

However, a private school in Australia has banned its pupils from listening to their iPods. They are not permitted in class, because they encourage kids to be selfish and lonely, according to the school principal.

It could never have happened in my day, even if iPods had then been invented. We had to sit at our desks, arms folded, facing the front and not talking to each other.

Look what it made me grow up to be!

CONFISCATED!

(From "The Daily Telegraph")

A head teacher has raised standards at his school by confiscating computers, games consoles and television sets from the homes of under-performing pupils.

Duncan Harper, the head of New Woodlands school in Bromley, south London, visits the homes of pupils who are tired or grumpy in lessons and seizes electronic equipment from their bedroom.

Mr Harper, who first asks parents' permission to remove the articles, says that academic results and behaviour have improved markedly since he introduced the "seizure policy".

New Woodlands, whose pupils have behavioural problems or who have been excluded from mainstream schools, was rated outstanding by government inspectors in March, and has a very low rate of permanent exclusion.

Mr Harper, who has been head for 12 years, said: "We noticed some kids were coming to school absolutely exhausted and not ready for learning. They were irritable, quick-tempered and very difficult.

"We discovered that a lot of them had televisions and Playstations in their bedrooms. They were staying up till all hours playing sometimes quite violent games or watching unsuitable programmes."

He said some of the pupils were amazed to see their headmaster walking off with their possessions. "When we turn up they are usually absolutely gob-smacked. They are quite taken aback as like lots of kids they might think that adults don't mean what they say."

Mr Harper said he has temporarily removed computers, Xboxes and Playstations from nine children over the past four years, and this has had a knock-on effect for other pupils.

He added: "It doesn't do much for your street cred to have a teacher turning up on your doorstep so when the word gets around, it usually does the trick."

Comments:

"What a pathetic state of affairs. Why can't these useless parents act for themselves, they should try saying NO to their children once in a while instead of abrogating all their responsibilities to the school.

What do you think?

MORE ABOUT THOSE FLAGS

Don't kid yourself that the nation is united behind that red cross on a white background.

In some quarters the flag is still seen as unforgivably naff - like keeping your coal in a bidet, or going to the corner shop in your curlers, or celebrating your love for your mum with a tattoo.

A flag should be the one thing a country can agree on. But in fractious old England, even our flag is a football to boot between the trenches in the class war.

In America they fly the flag everywhere - millionaires and trailer trash alike get all teary at the sight of Old Glory.

Here some people think the St George flag is the province of a certain section of society, like inflatable snowmen at Christmas.

So, is flying the flag of St George a working class thing? Why do you see it fluttering above council homes but not stately homes?

To fly or not to fly? As we enter World Cup week, that is the question.

(Abridged from a "Daily Mirror" article)

DO YOU ALLOW ANY DANGLY BITS IN YOUR CAR?

Many years ago (more than I care to remember) my driving instructor told me to beware of cars with anything dangling on the inside of the windscreen or rear window.

He said that it was the sign of an erratic driver and you never knew what they were about to do. "Keep a safe distance" he said.

So no fluffy dice please - or anything else.

I am even suspicious of one of those "Magic Tree" air fresheners, suspended from the rear-view mirror.

And what about this standing on the parcel shelf?

What does that say about the driver?

A city slicker visits a farm for a day and is amazed by the speed with which a pig, challenged in the leg department, is able to negotiate the farmyard.

"That's quite an animal," says the city-dweller.

"Indeed," replies the farmer, That pig saved my life. There was a terrible fire here last year and the pig managed to open the barn door and get all the animals out before pulling on the bell-rope by the front door to wake the household."

"Gosh,"said the guest, "Is that how he lost his leg?"

The farmer shook his head.

"No, but a pig like that, you don't want to eat all at once."

Boom! Boom!

(Courtesy of Sandy Toksviig - The Sunday Telegraph

The nation's teenagers have radically updated Shakespeare, injecting drugs and sex into some of the most famous plays in the language.

Staff marking last month's national curriculum English tests for 14-year-olds encountered a range of unconventional readings of Macbeth.

One pupil described Macbeth as "a cowardly custard" while another summed up pages of finely crafted verse with: "Lady Macbeth ses to Macbeth 'sort your head out."'

The protagonist gets his comeuppance because "as my mum always sez wot goes around comes around", another pupil wrote.

"Lady Macbeth had a desire to have Macbeth on the throne" so she "asked him to show her his manhood", suggested one pupil.

And a teacher reported: "Boys in my class think Lady Macbeth didn't get enough sex."

Another pupil suggested that drugs may have been to blame. The dagger and witches were not there, the child claimed: "Macbeth had been smoking up and imagined them all."

(From a Daily Mail article)

It's been a bit like the arrival of spring.

You know; the first daffodil, the first gambolling lamb - and the first England flag, fluttering on a builder's van.

Now, with only a week to go to the opening of the World Cup, they seem to be appearing on nearly every other vehicle.

Yesterday I saw FOUR on one car - at each corner.

I am told that there is at least one Rolls Royce sporting the flag.

But would you display one on your car or house?

To many it is seen as the mark of the uncouth, loud-mouthed, beer-swilling lout - to be avoided.

Some people think that an England flag, draped down the side of a house, lowers the tone of the neighbourhood.

And at least one estate agent has said that it depresses property values.

What do you think?

Is it patriotism or the vulgar exhibitionism of a yob?